Is Balance Eluding You?
Try Getting Aligned Instead
The word balance gets tossed around like a Frisbee at the beach - work/life balance, a balanced diet; achieve balance in your business, and other mantras of the moment. We can often be found saying things like “Once I get more balanced” or “When I have free time” all while spinning a dozen different plates at the same time drowning in obligations, stress, and exhaustion. Balance feels as elusive as a soaking wet, soaped up cat that needs a bath.
Have you ever felt this way? Let’s face it, you’re intelligent and you know what you need to do, yet day after day, week after week it just escapes you. You’ve attended all the seminars. You’ve listened to all the self-help tapes. Taken a yoga class or two (at least until it, too succumbed to your schedule) and have the Oprah show on auto-record. Still it feels like finding some sort of balance is always out of reach.
Here’s the thing about balance – it can rarely be achieved and even then only for a brief moment. It is dynamic and flowing. We hover near the point of balance and constantly adjust in ways that bring us closer to balance, but it is only ever realized for a split second. Take our own bodies that go through the biological process of homeostasis. Homeostasis is an adjusting and regulating mechanism that keeps the body and its systems in a stable state. Even this highly complex and advanced system of balance that we take for granted (until something is woefully off, that is) is not constant. It is always adjusting and rarely is it exactly spot on. It stretches here, leans in there to achieve an overall acceptably close-to-balanced state. Or as the biological terminology in the Wikipedia definition goes: “Regulators try to maintain the parameter at a constant level over possibly wide ambient environmental variations.” In plain English that is an “acceptable balance” which in and of itself is in a constant state of adjustment.
When you think of it this way, you can see why balance can be so elusive to us in our daily lives. After all there are constant adjustments that need to happen moment to moment. We have plans, the dog/cat/child/parent gets ill and we need to adjust. We are all ready to race to an appointment and the car breaks down and we need to adjust again. We get a sudden influx of great business opportunities that throws our schedule off and we need to adjust. We get a great invitation to travel on a super trip, again we adjust. See what I mean? It is a tiring and a struggling just thinking about this, isn’t it? And, if and when we achieve some balance, it is only present for a brief moment and then it is gone again leaving us with a feeling of defeat and the need to start the struggle all over again.
See how the idea of balance is a myth? Do you feel how you set yourself up for failure every day when you try to catch the slippery pig of some predefined idea of balance? The result is you end up feeling like things will never change, your best efforts are futile, and you are fighting a losing battle so you just give up. No one wants to feel like their best efforts don’t make the cut.
What if instead of trying to find balance you did things differently? What if you turned your focus to creating alignment in your life instead?
Alignment is about relationships. Alignment can empower your choices and fulfill your days in the way that seeking balance never can. When you align your thoughts, feelings, and actions you set yourself up for a lot more ease, success, and general happiness. You feel like you are on track and create a much more meaningful and joyful life.
Take the yoga example. To be perfectly balanced in any pose is impossible, except for maybe a split second where you suddenly notice you’re balanced and then poof it is gone again. Yet in the practice of yoga you can always be in relationship to the pose; in relationship to your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and the alignment of your body. When you focus on alignment, you still make ongoing adjustments but instead of it being in pursuit of an elusive goal, it brings you back to center.
You can have the same experience in your everyday life. When you are clear on who you are and what matters to you, you can begin to align your life with the things, people, and experiences you value most. Like a compass that points to true north aligning your life with your values infuses you with clarity and confidence and truly allows you to enjoy the journey.
Are you ready to toss the fruitless struggle for balance aside and adopt the practice of alignment? Do you want to feel like you are moving forward, on track, and on purpose? Not sure where to start? Need a supportive companion on the journey? If so, contact me at paula@thepaulagcompany.com or 215-450-2549 today for a complimentary get acquainted call and learn how comfortable in your own skin coaching can help.
