Planting Acceptance

A few weeks ago during the May Full Moon, our group gathered for monthly meditation with the theme of the flower moon on our mind. The idea being that it is spring, a time of new birth, a time to till the soil, nurture what we plant, and watch it grow. As part of making this ritual more tangible, one member brought several herb plants for each person to take home and care for.

As we considered our plants that night some great questions arose:

What seeds are you currently planting in your life?
How are you nurturing those seeds and yourself as you wait for them to flourish?
Can you be patient as they take root and grow?
Can you still love and accept yourself even if despite all your best efforts they do not grow?

Lemon Thyme All great questions that can be applied to both the individual little herb plants we took with us that night as well as to the bigger picture within each of our lives. We are always planting seeds and growing. Sometimes it looks like a new career, striking out in your own business, a new business deal, a new relationship, moving to a new home, and so forth. The possibilities are endless as we are constantly in the cycle of getting ideas, planting them, nurturing, harvesting, and letting go as we transition yet again. Yet how often do we consciously notice how we are being – in relationship to ourselves, to the seed we are planting, to each other, and to the world at large? And, how do those relationships shift depending on whether things are going our way/according to plan or not?

As a success oriented person who takes a lot of responsibility for everything (often too darn much), I knew I was in for at least one zinger question was from my friend who leads the group. “Can you be ok if, even despite your best efforts, this plant dies?” Oh I thought… so much for a nice uplifting ritual! Got to throw the tough questions in there. Of course I won’t be ok… I’ll be upset, sad, and feel like a total failure and loser if I can’t get this little lemon thyme plant to grow. It was an emotional reaction well out of proportion of the situation at hand.

That’s when it became clear. How often do we instantly beat ourselves up by believing that somehow things can be somehow different then they just are at this given moment? Sure we can take action, make changes, and affect the future, but for right here, right now, it is what it is. The plant is thriving, or it is dying, or it is simply doing its thing hidden in the soil because it is not yet ready to show itself above the dirt line. And so it is. We don’t need to engage in drama, cause ourselves suffering, or create physical symptoms as we witness the plant’s journey. We can just be present in the space, fully comfortable in our own skin (even when it feels a bit uncomfortable), and experience our own journey.

I have to say it took me a good period of time to try and rationalize my emotional reaction every possible different way on this question. Of course my friend just sat there waiting for me to come around to what simply is. It took me a while to honestly sit there and say “Yes, I’ll be OK no matter what happens to the plant because I’ll have a deep knowing that I did my best.”

You may think – but it is a $1.99 herb plant Paula – what the heck are you being so dramatic about? Yet – take the question out of the herb garden and into your day to day life. Can you be ok with whatever happens in your professional life if you know you’ve done the best you can do? Will you be ok if everything you are working to build never pans out? Is it possible for you to have inner acceptance, peace, and love even when life’s big transitions happen? Can you let go of relationships that end or loved ones that pass on knowing that you loved the best you could?

Let me be the first to point out that being ok with and knowing you did your best does NOT mean you don’t experience grief, pain, or other intense emotions. This is not a sweep it under the rug exercise. You may very well have exquisitely painful and intense emotions depending on the circumstance. Yet, can you just experience them fully, without judgment, and be ok with YOU anyway?

It is a simple, yet very powerful question. One that I sit in inner inquiry with often. It certainly hit me in a profound way as we sat that beautiful Sunday evening in community discussing our plants; it continues to resonate with me even more powerfully as I apply it to my life and business. The profoundness of its implications is hard to grasp.

So, my coach’s challenge to you is to take it one step at a time…with each moment and endeavor ask yourself “If I do the best I can possibly do right now, can I be ok with whatever outcome shows itself?” Whether your answer is a resounding and freedom filled “Yes!” Or an “OMG, I am so NOT ok with that” the simple act of asking the question will move you forward to a greater level of understanding and success one step at a time.