What Are You Attracting?

"When it comes to your dreams, don't take no for an answer.
Your wholehearted commitment will attract the support you need."
-- Anonymous

Have you ever stopped and taken a look around at all areas of your life - work, home, relationships, health, spirituality, relaxation time, and surroundings? Do you like what you see? Whether you jump with joy or cringe, the truth is -- you created it! The good news and bad news is we are the ultimate creators of our lives and what we see in the world around us is a mirror of what is inside us (our inner world).

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to "get lucky" and attract all the success and good things they want and others seem to have the worst luck bumping up against obstacle after obstacle? Again, it is the law of attraction at work.

What I've learned is there's a catch. The catch is that much of the attracting we do seems to happen on a feeling level, sometimes unconsciously. So we can easily slip into blame mode or bewilderment when what we see around us doesn't align with what we say or think we want. For instance, we may think and say that we want to be thin and sexy. Yet, deep inside we feel fearful of being attractive because of bad experiences we had in the past with abuse or bad relationships. As a result, we attract situations (working overtime every night) and take actions (skipping exercise or eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's) that lead us further away from our goal (being thin and healthy). Perhaps we even solidify our stuck-ness by replaying a tape of self-doubt and self-criticism in our head many times every day (you're fat, you'll never lose weight, you're an idiot, etc.).

What is Attraction?

Attraction as I see it is a combination of thoughts, feelings, and action. Many very left brain folks (like myself) are initially skeptical of the attraction concept because we want undeniable, visible proof of every last thing and believe anything that deals with feelings, energy, or the unseen is woo-woo or new age claptrap. So we work and try harder doing every last thing we think will bring us success only to end up empty handed, depressed, frustrated, and exhausted wondering why we're not seeing results. On the other extreme are people who are entirely driven by their right brain and aren't really interested in proof but rather rely on gut instinct and signs on a more kinesthetic level. Oftentimes these folks may simply trust in the Universe and wait, open-handed for success to arrive. They are missing the action part of the puzzle. It is like someone who hopes and trusts that they will find a new job but never lifts a finger to send out resumes or network. It's just not going to happen. Most of us fall between the two extremes. We hope and trust a little bit, take some actions, and then circle back into a pool of doubt or negative feelings about what we fear might happen or what we don't want to happen. As a result we stay in a spiral and experience more of the same -- what we don't want, instead of what we do.

Have you ever felt frustrated and stuck? If so, then you've been caught in this cycle. This little place I like to call the black hole of attraction where mixed signals and actions lead you to a déjà vu experience over and over again until what you're experiencing is the same thing, only with the names and faces changed.

How Can I Become an Attraction Magnet?

First off, the principle of attraction isn't something you can choose to adhere to or not. It is one of those sneaky universal laws. Like gravity, it isn't optional. Like attracts like - think of a magnet. What you can do, however, is to learn more about yourself, the idea of attraction, and start implementing the principles into your life so you begin to attract more of what you do want, and less of what you don't.

Be Self-Ish
Practice self-care and create time and space to get to know yourself and maximize your own well-being.

Get Quiet
You can't have a clue what's going on in your inner world if you have a freeway of thoughts in your head. Take time to stop, meditate, and listen to your feelings.

Create Space
In order to hear the messages your body, thoughts, and feelings have for you, you need to create space in which to get quiet and just BE. This includes de-cluttering your physical surroundings as well. (Remember that external world is a mirror of your inner world I talked about at the start of the article?)

Get Clear
Whether you journal, meditate, take long walks in nature, or simply start exploring your passions, you need to be clear on what you really want. Only with a strong clarity in your mind AND in your feelings can what you're asking for be congruent with what you receive.

Focus on What You DO Want
Don't waste time fixating on what you already have (if you don't like it) or fearing what you don't want. If you do that, you send all your energy in that direction and end up essentially asking for the thing you don't want. Focus on where you want to go and you will travel in the direction of your desire.

Take Action
Once you're clear on what you DO want, do something. Take clear, intentional action in the direction of what you want. Intention, thoughts, and energy without action is like sitting in front of a room you wish to enter but not getting up off your butt and opening the door.

Open to Receive
If you're marching through life with brick walls around you and your arms crossed in disgust and despair, you can't possibly receive what you desire. Practice being open to receiving and letting go of an expectation of how it "should" look.

Practice Gratitude
Be thankful for the people, places, and circumstances you have attracted that are in line with what you want. Also be thankful for those things that are not what you want because they teach you something. You can't experience abundance and more of what you want if you can't take care of what you already have.

Let's face it; attracting what we want in life is a moving target and a continual journey. The natural world and each of us is continually evolving, so the playing field is dynamic. There exists no certifiable map to get from where we are to where we want to be. However, there are irrefutable laws at play in the world and if you start to learn about, observe, and apply the laws of attraction you can and will experience more success and fulfillment.