Where Are You Compensating?
The last few weeks have taught me a bit about our natural tendency to compensate when one part of our circle of life is out of whack and how that compensation, while necessary, can have unintended negative consequences.
I often hear friends and clients say “it’s not like it is awful…”, “what if this is as good as it gets?”, or “I couldn’t possibly do X because I have a family, people are counting on me, I have expenses, or it would be too much upheaval” as it relates to something in their life that isn’t working. The words “well it is not awful” and “I guess I should just be grateful I have a job, any job” are pretty popular ones in today’s times as well.
Here’s the thing – your language speaks volumes. Think about it – if I were to ask you to flash forward in time and look back on your life – do you want to say “I had a really great and fulfilling life and career” or “Well, at least it wasn’t awful”? Which is more inspiring and empowering? Which do you want as your legacy?
When you minimize your desires, try and rationalize away your current situation, or trudge along believing things couldn’t be different, you are compensating. Compensating for something that is broken or “off” in your experience.
You see a little over two weeks ago in yoga class (yeah I know, go figure) I pulled a groin muscle. I didn’t’ know I had truly hurt myself until the end of class. There wasn’t any moment of “ouch!” or “oops!” or “crap!” to tip me off to my unhappy groin. Sure I remember being particularly tight and less limber than usual that evening, but never did I sense I was forcing myself or pushing too far. Well, apparently my body had the last laugh and told me I certainly wasn’t paying enough attention to what I was experiencing.
Now, I’m not talking about the little muscle tweak where you wake up a little stiff the next day. Nope, I’m talking wincing pain, struggling to walk from one end of the room to the other, and too sore to roll over in the middle of the night. I woke up the next morning wondering what the HECK did I do? And with each gimpy step I took, I was compensating for the muscle pull and making something else in my body go out of whack. By the end of the first day my hip and back were in spasms and my feet and knees were sore.
All this from a few moments of not listening closely enough to my body and rationalizing away the stiffness I was feeling as “nothing much” all while I was truly tuned into my body in a yoga class. Imagine the tuning out that is possible during the normal course of the day and the havoc we can manifest!
Fortunately for me I have a great team of folks I work with to get on the fast track to healing…from self-help to homeopathic medicine to energy work to bodywork to my miracle working chiropractor. In less than 2 weeks I went from hobbled and in pain to resuming most of my normal activities (albeit a little scaled back as I continue to mend).
Our bodies are messengers. If you don’t listen they will scream a little louder till you do. A combination of what your body is saying, what you are feeling, and the language you use are the key to uncovering what is most right for you.
Let me say that I’m not ignoring life’s practicalities here. I’m not saying to quit your job this afternoon and move to the coast. Yet I do invite you to ask the question – “Am I consciously choosing my life experiences or am I letting the winds of practicalities control my experiences?”
There is always a cost to “just getting by” and compensating in one or more areas of your life. In my little example, while I am truly grateful for the team of folks that support me, it did take a good chunk of time, energy, and money dab smack in the middle of my already full schedule. Not to mention I was less than pleased at not being able to run free with my activities, didn’t enjoy the pain one bit, and am still slowly getting back in the saddle so to speak.
I invite you to take a look at the bigger circle of your life – career, personal, fun, spiritual, health, relationships, surroundings, etc. and ask yourself:
- Where am I out of alignment?
- Where am I compensating?
- When do I rationalize away my inner knowing with language that minimizes what I really feel?
Are you ready to name and claim where you are compensating? That itty bitty limp you might not even be aware of will continue to speak louder until you listen to and honor its message. If you’re ready to experience the power of aligning your thoughts, feelings, and experience to create what you DO want in your life, I invite you to get in touch with me (contact via email or 215-450-2549) to set up a time to chat 1 on 1 and learn how to make that happen.
