Ex-Wives Club Lessons Apply to GLBT Relationships Too

Last night was the first of five episodes of the Ex-Wives Club on ABC. Now, I next to never have time for watching TV and even when I do I rarely watch any reality type shows. I think Survivor a handful of years ago was the last time I followed a reality show. However, with my mentor Debbie Ford appearing as the expert life coach on the series, I was not about to miss it.

The show introduces two people (each week) whose lives have been torn apart by divorce. Throughout the course of the show Debbie along with the Ex-Wives team of Angie Everhart, Shar Jackson, and Marla Maples help the participants get clear of the past, rebuild their lives from the inside out, and venture out into the world again.

In my ideal world we’d have at least one whole episode of the Ex-Wives Club dedicated to the devastaing breakups of gay and lesbian relationships. (Hey ABC, if you’re listening, there are millions of us out here waiting to see just this very thing.) After all, just because the law doesn’t recognize us, the intensity and importance of our relationships are on equal par with any marriage out there. Sometimes we are even more invested in our relationships than our heterosexual counterparts because we have to work so damn hard to create and sustain our chosen families while navigating practical details that are stacked against us.

What I know for sure is that Debbie Ford’s work and her book “Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life” applies to ALL of us. As someone who is trained as an Integrative Coach and has also experienced her Spiritual Divorce work as a client, I can tell you that if you’re struggling with breaking free of a relationship or feeling devastated by the end of a relationship, this work can help you take this experience and use it as a catalyst for an amazing future. If you’re worried about coming out as LGBT and doing this sort of work I can assure you that Debbie and her community (myself included) will embrace you with open arms.

Why is this approach and this work so powerful?

  • It is an inside-out job. Change yourself and you WILL change your life.
  • It doesn’t ignore the dark side of things. Rather, you go into the dark so you can extract the gifts amidst the muck and free yourself from the crap.
  • You get to fully express your feelings – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Anger, fear, and other intense emotions are in you and you need to find a healthy way to honor and release them otherwise you’re either going to explode or implode with disasterous results.
  • Once you take care of yourself, new opportunities and relationships open up and present themselves to you effortlessly.

While watching this sort of show might not be your thing, I encourage you to check it out and pay close attention to the messages brought forth beneath the entertainment value of some of the scenes (after all, we won’t all be able to release the past by dropping our ex’s car out of a plane at 10,000 feet, but we can break free of its grip on us). The lessons are solid and applicable to any relationship.

If you have questions or you want to learn more, you can contact me.

Did anyone watch the show? What did you think? How can this sort of work be beneficial to gay & lesbian relationships?

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  1. frankie says:

    Loved the show! i am glad that a network studio finally tackled the emotional epidemic of divorce……also love debbie'w work too….they were all on larry king last night and were great….i too would have like to see someone from the LGBT community……i think we can learn that in our relationships we should treat them more of a partnership as appose to perpetuating the "butch/fem" "top/bottom" " masculine/feminine" roles in same sex relationships. If we look at them as a partnership we are more likely to put the same amount of energy/commitment and finances.


  1. Coaching4Lesbians » Blog Archive » Words Are Just Words says:

    […] Last night was the second episode of the Ex-Wives Club on ABC featuring Debbie Ford. Last week I gave you the lowdown on why this show applies to LGBT relationships and why this work done Debbie Ford style is the most powerful thing you can ever do for yourself and your relationships. This week I’d like to delve into a very powerful distinction Debbie made during the show which will change your relationship with words forever. […]

How to Prioritize When Everything is a Priority

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