In Awe of Some Big Star? Guess What…You Are a Superstar Too!

It seems everywhere you turn someone is ogling at a celebrity or famous person. We spend more time worrying about the details of other peoples lives than we do our own. We hear a speaker, listen to a musician, or see a movie and think, “Wow, I wish I could be like her!” Well, you CAN. And in many ways you already ARE.

Do this Exercise:

  1. Think of three people that you admire and write their names down. They can be people you know or someone famous.
  2. List what qualities they possess that attract your admiration.
  3. Now, ask yourself — where in your life do you demonstrate these same qualities (either now or in the past)?

For example, you might say that you admire Melissa Etheridge. The qualities that she has that draw you to her are: authentic and creative. You might write down that you are authentic when you are with your partner and feel truly free to be who you really are when you’re with her. Or, you might write that you are a very creative cook.

Now, make the connection — you really do have the same positive qualities as this other person. So, why then don’t you treat yourself like the star you really are?

Part of the work I do as an Integrative Coach, trained by Debbie Ford is to help people uncover their shadows that keep them from having all that they want in their lives. We often think of the shadow as something negative or dark; those “dark shadows” which everyone has which sabotage us. Equally standing in our way of getting what we want are our light shadows, those beautiful, brilliant parts of ourselves that we refuse to acknowledge. Our inner superstar, if you will. Not recognizing these parts of ourselves gets in our way as well because we refuse to risk or let our brilliant talents and uniqueness shine because we are afraid. So, we give our power away. We project it onto the people we admire figuring they have something we don’t and that’s why they’ll be successful while we’ll be only mediocre (or worse, a failure) and so we play it safe.

The problem with this thinking is that “safe” is not really safe. It is simply boring and settling for the “known” even if it is not our heart’s desire. Not to mention, imagine what the world is missing when you hold back and don’t share your true self and talents with others. What if Ilene Chaiken never bothered to put pen to paper and figured she’d be better off as an accountant because she had a belief that what she had to say didn’t matter? Who would make us laugh if Ellen Degeneres decided it was safer to be a short order cook than a comedian? Where would music fans be if Melissa Etheridge decided to become a secretary because it was the more responsible choice?

These seem like silly questions when you look in hindsight at someone whose success has impacted us greatly. Yet, in order for them to get where they are, they had to embrace their inner superstar on at least some level to put themselves out there and persevere.

All things can be possible when you unleash your light. So, identify those qualities in others that turn you on and then turn the volume up on those same qualities that already reside in you.

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  1. wow – great point Paula! in this age when everyone wants to be famous, we often forget how 'famous' we already are in our own worlds. also – i think one of the difficulties today is being lured into thinking we must be 'famous' to 'be somebody'. we only see the positive side of being famous too. being a celebrity comes with it's share of negatives, of course.

    yes, if we interviewed ellen and melissa we might find there was a strong desire to excel in their fields. And perhaps a strong desire to become rich and famous. and therein holds another key: we think we know who ellen and melissa are – and, certainly we see enough of them to have a good idea. but, still, they are just people too and we need to watch out putting them on a pedestal they will undoubtedly fall from.

    I also think it's just exciting for lesbians to see other out lesbians in the public eye. i think this phenomenon is still fresh and makes some of us google-eyed… 🙂

  2. Lyle Lachmuth - The says:

    I did the exercise years ago in an introduction to Gestalt session.

    My hero then was JFK!

    What a powerful exerices. Helped me being to get in touch with my own charisma. .. and sexual power.


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