If it’s ok with you, I’m going to just plain be vulnerable here and share something very few people know about me.  I was reluctant to share this for years because I felt ashamed and frankly odd.  Fear of judgment, a dose of embarrassment, and scared of what other people might think kept me in hiding.  But then recently I thought, this situation is such a clear and bona fide example of what it is feels like and what is possible when you are willing to face and move through your fears that I could keep it a secret no longer.

You see I used to be deathly afraid of flying. I mean a terrified, out of my mind, anxiety ridden passenger.  My family never flew anywhere (and still has never been on a plane) and therefore it was not until high school that I first got on a plane. While I was scared to death, I didn’t let it show (I was 17 years old flying with my high school classmates, remember?), survived the experience, and easily avoided planes for a few more years.

But then it happened.  My desire for wanderlust and travel took root right after college. I started with a few very long car trips and then realized that the places I really wanted to go and desperately wanted to see required air travel. So I sucked it up and got on a plane.  And I panicked. I stressed, sweated, and heart-palpitated my way through whatever flight(s) I needed to endure to get me where I wanted to go.  For years it was like walking through Dante’s inferno as a means to an end (visiting cool new places and having new experiences).  My desire to not be limited by my fears was so strong it literally pulled me through.  Yes I had to force myself, yes I was miserable, and yes it took a terrible toll on me.  Think about it – that much fear and stress in your body has an impact.

Have you ever felt this way – paralyzed by fear? Totally wasted by trying to just “feel the fear and do it anyway”?

One of my low points (or high anxiety points if you will) came the one and only time I have been to Europe. I had to travel there on business and my partner came with me so we could extend the time for a vacation. I literally spent the entire overnight flight panicked, battling heart palpitations, and fearful that every bump and noise would lead to us crashing into the Atlantic.  I squeezed my partner’s hand so tight for 8+ hours that I actually drew blood.  Crazy, right?

Yet that is what fear does… it paralyzes us and creates irrational terror in our hearts and minds.  Whether it is flying, making a career change, or speaking your truth to someone else, fear is fear and it feels so real.

While pushing through it was getting me in action, I knew it wasn’t sustainable.  Even with my deep desire to travel I couldn’t stand the stress of the travel days and it took me days to regroup on each end. What a waste of precious time and energy.  So I decided I would find a way to make a shift so flying was no longer terrifying. In fact I thought maybe one day I could actually semi-enjoy it.

It started with a decision and an undying commitment to what I really wanted to experience. Without this the rest of the how-to’s and actions I took would have been useless.

So what happened? Flash forward to today where flying is truly no big deal for me.  I am no longer fraught with a pile of fear and endless stress. In fact, sometimes I truly do just sit back and enjoy the flight. It is simply just a “new normal” and part of the process of getting from here to there when I travel. While I haven’t taken any ‘round the globe flights yet, coast to coast is just a piece of cake (albeit a cramped, hate to be stuck in an uncomfortable chair, are we there yet piece of cake.).

So how did I make the shift from terrified to no big deal? I:

• Got clear on what I truly desired and what my fears were really about.
• Made the decision that I wanted my experience to be different.
• Made the commitment that I would do what it takes to make this shift on the inside because my desire to travel was so inspiring to me.
• Opened to receive support.
• Learned how to trust and let go. (Sounds simple and it is, but the process of trusting and letting go is just that, a process and a practice.)
• Obtained more information to satisfy my left-brain’s need to know. (So for example I learned what some of the buzzers, noises, and other sounds meant so I didn’t worry that the plane was going down when in fact all that happened was that we reached cruising altitude.)
• Surrendered.  Again like trusting and letting go this was about having faith and certainty that I am safe at all times.

I share this personal story with you because while you might not have a fear of flying, I can almost guarantee you have some fear that is holding you back from what you say you truly desire. I want you to see firsthand that it is very possible and extremely powerful to move through fear to freedom.  I have done it many times throughout my personal and professional life and I can help you do the same. What I know for sure is that without the support of my own Intuitive Intelligence^tm, I would probably still be death gripping from gate to gate and closing myself off to the richest opportunities I most desire.

Closing down because of fear or the stories you tell yourself in your head only leads to regret down the road.  I don’t want that to happen to you.

My Coach’s Request to You:

Take a few moments, reflect, and ask:

• Where in my life (personal or professional) does fear hold me back?
• What is this fear costing me – in terms of missed opportunities, money struggles, well-being, joy, and health, etc.?
• Do I want to do things differently and have a different experience than I am now having in this area of my life?
• Am I willing to make a commitment and receive the support necessary to move from fear to freedom?

If you are ready to break through the fears, obstacles, and limitations that are holding you back from what you most desire, I would love to hear from you.  Head over to http://www.thepaulagcompany.com/application and request an Intuitive Intelligence^tm Activation Session and start to make the shift right away.

Sometimes we go through our days and forget to truly celebrate moments that have been turning points. Sometimes these are points along a continuum, part of the great big ripple effect that makes you who you are. Today I celebrate one of those days. You see June 26th would have been my parent’s 45th wedding anniversary. My Mom passed away earlier this month so instead of a time of celebration we all remain quite squarely in grief where tears come far more readily than smiles as we remember her. Yet I couldn’t let this year’s milestone pass without celebrating the uncommon act of courage by my Mom and Dad which enabled us to be a family of three and frankly allowed me to come into being at all.

The year was 1965 and they had been high school sweethearts for years and wanted to wed. There was only one problem – religion. The rules of the road and strongly held beliefs that can divide families, communities, and nations. I’m not talking about spirituality here, I’m talking about the man-made rules in churches that divide people’s souls. That create conflict where otherwise there would only be love. You can see the scene unfold: my Dad’s family – strict Catholics. My Mom’s family – Protestant. Never shall the two meet in happy matrimony.

In many cases today (but not all!) blended families are much easier to form. In 1965 that was not the case. Each family vehemently refused to step foot in the “other” church. The situation felt so impossible, in fact, that they literally thought it could never be so they separated for a few months. Miserable without each other and feeling despondent at not being able to be together, they realized that making a choice only to satisfy someone else would create only a life of regret. So, Love prevailed and they decided they would elope.

When you think of eloping today, you don’t think of a radical act. At least I don’t. I think of two people for whatever reasons deciding to fore go the stress, family conflict, or expense of a wedding, and choose to get married in a simple way. When I think back to what it must have been like 45 years ago and the conservative families my parents came from I see a tremendously courageous and radical act. A decision made (and certainly not likely) to put love before fear. To choose an authentic path for themselves no matter what. An act of courage worthy of celebration.

From the stories I have heard, there was clearly tension when they broke the news, but over the many years the families came to respect one another. Perhaps this melding was possible because of the utmost respect each of my parents had for each other and their own beliefs and traditions. I know I never felt anything but love and openness from both of them when it came to my own spiritual path and periodic religious choices along the way.

For many years I never gave this historic choice point much of a thought.  I only ever knew my parents as happily married, that they had eloped,  and our families as a typical blending of famliies.  Yet a few years ago when my Mom and I talked about it, it started to really sink in – the truly powerful choice they made.  The radical act it was.  And, the sheer degree of discomfort that each of them had to have felt as they made a choice that was right for them but that would make those they loved displeased (at least initially). It isn’t always comfortable to choose love over fear; to choose what is right for your higher good. You must choose anyway if you want to live fully and authentically.

What acts of true courage have you made that you gloss over and forget to celebrate? I invite you to celebrate them now.

What choices do you need to make right now (even if they might be unpopular or radical) so you can live fully the life you most want to live? I invite you to name them and claim them(and if you need support doing so, contact me).

Step into your own courage… it might not be comfortable, but it will certainly be beautiful and for your highest good.

I bet that there are a number of things you say you want in your life or career.  I know I certainly have spouted off long lists at different times in my life. Perhaps you have said to yourself or out loud, I would like to:

• Be fitter and healthier
• Earn more money
• Have my professional life align with who I am and my values
• Start a business
• Write a book, paint, play music
• Create a beautiful atmosphere in my home environment
• Speak my truth
• Build wealth
• Cultivate more faith and trust/deeper spiritual life
• Be more adventurous
• Have richer relationships
• <insert your own desires…>

These are all lovely. I’ve spoken many of them aloud myself at one time or another.  I hear many of the people in my audiences and communities say these with gusto as well.  Then something interesting happens…

Read more … Are You Committed or Just Interested?

So often someone will come to me with a deep desire to create something new in their life, their business, or their career.  They can clearly articulate what is not working for them and they can also tell me what they really want to see happen for them.  Then after being swept up in a tide of possibility and excitement they utter the words, “Well, maybe it’s just not the right time right now.”  Then like a bird falling from the sky they just give up.   Can you relate to this feeling?

That’s why in today’s Q&A I want to talk about the question: What if it’s not the right time?  and How will I know when the time is right?

I could write pages on this but I’m a woman who likes to cut to the chase.  So, the short answer is – there is no “right” time. 

There is no mythical, all the stars are aligned, the sun is out & shining, you are blessed with unlimited time & money– RIGHT time.

There is only now.

I’m also a practical person so I realize you can’t do everything you’ve ever wanted to do or start every project you want to start right now.  If you did, then you would be mired in overwhelm and would’ve needed to attend the teleclass I did a few years back entitled “Are you trying to cram 10lbs of poop into a 5lb bag?”.  It’s impractical and sets you up for failure.  There is a reason time exists (even if  some believe it to only be an illusion)… that is to prevent us from having to do everything simultaneously.

So if there is no right time and there is only now and you can’t do it all right now, then how do you know whether to make the commitment to move forward on something or not?

If you really want something, you’re tired of settling for the same-old, and you simply want to come alive,  then you make a decision, make a commitment, and take that one baby step forward.  Not tomorrow, not next year, not “someday” but today.

You can wait for a better time or a right time.  People will say to me, well, maybe I’ll be ready to start coaching, to start changing what really needs changing in three  months or six months.  You know what happens?  Three months, six months, a year pass by and nothing has changed.  So, you see you’ll be older in <insert your favorite excuses in terms of time frame here> whether or not you decide to take action.  You’ll be waiting around forever for that elusive right time and then realize that you never did the things you most wanted to, you never lived the life you were meant to live, or you never had the impact you wanted to from your professional life. How sad is that?  I don’t know about you but not only is that a painful trail of regret personally, but it also leaves the world bereft of the gifts that only you can offer.

So, take some time and reflect on the changes you’ve been wanting to see … maybe some more free time, more adventure, more freedom, a new career, living more authentically, more success… whatever that is for you, and then ask yourself:

When am I going to make the decision to make this desire a reality?  If not now, then when?

If you need support from someone who can be your guide and help you create a plan that actually works, contact me anytime for a complimentary chat.

The energy of commitment is so very key to succeeding your own terms.  Frankly it is a necessary element to almost anything you wish to create in this lifetime.  Why, then does commitment seem to be hard or elusive for some people?  Why do people say they are committed but then back away never following their words with action?

My friend and colleague Jennifer Longmore of Soul Journeys recently started an inquiry about commitment on her Facebook Fan Page. Specifically Jennifer asked:

Commitment seems to be the one energy that we struggle with, and yet the one energy that breeds success….so what are we really afraid of: success or commitment?

That got me to thinking that while the energy of fear – of success or commitment itself can be at work, I believe it is something more.  You see I think most people either make an excuse about commitment like “I’m not disciplined” or “I’m not good at commitment” because they are living from their past experiences.  Frankly this excuse is a total copout that can be transformed if you are willing.  Or, you avoid committing because you feel you need to “give up” something in order to do so.  This feeling of lack is what prevents you from committing. Of course paradoxically commitment yields far more if only you would take that one step.

Think about it – we associate commitment with giving things up:

• Committing to a marriage/partnership equates to giving up the freedom of being single.
• Commitment to getting healthy feels like giving up food you love or giving up physical comfort rather than gaining what you want (remember diet has the word “die” in it).
• Commitment to a goal means you have to invest time taking action toward that goal (and therefore give up doing something else with it).

While this may be true…commitment often means a trade-off on where you choose to invest your time and energy, if you choose your commitments consciously this is a joyous trade-off that yields great benefits!  My friend and colleague Chris Silvey said it well:

If we focus on our commitments, success is just a natural byproduct….and there’s less significance attached : )

Again, choose your commitments wisely. Make sure they reflect what you really want instead of what someone told you that you should want.  If you do that, there is nothing to worry about.  If you choose from your heart and your passions you will experience so much joy and fulfillment in the journey (even over the rough patches) knowing you are “on purpose” that the idea of lack will fade to black.

What is your experience with commitment?  Does it come easy for you? Or, do you struggle with making or keeping your commitments?  Would love to hear from you in the comments…

Are you someone who can seemingly talk forever and take the round about way of getting to the point?

Or, perhaps you have the opposite challenge…

Do you struggle on saying much of anything at all leaving others to wonder what you’re really thinking and feeling?

Either way if you can’t communicate with laser-like focus you are sabotaging your own success. You see, I can talk (and talk and talk and talk and talk… you get the picture?).  Yet as more time goes by I realize that while this can be a benefit sometimes, more often than not it is a liability.  Every time I find myself over-explaining I hear the voice of a career counselor (and now friend) I once had told me point blank “You’re one of those damn expressives and it drives me nuts!” Meaning that I tend to think out loud and talk a great deal including every bloody detail imaginable to express myself.  Now, there’s nothing wrong with talking or chit-chatting of course. This doesn’t mean you can’t ever relax and talk at length with someone.  But, when it comes to business and the business of creating what you want in your life, clarity and brevity are your friends.

Read more about communicating with confidence …

I recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by Ruth Ann Wood of Scripting for Success as part of her Live Your Peace project.    You can check out the six minute intro of the film by the same name on her website.  The project is part of the creation of a global conversation on peace achieved through self improvement, stress reduction, art, music, teaching, learning playing.  She is interviewing numerous folks of which I am excited to be one of them.

Our conversation centered on the role being confident and comfortable in your own skin plays in living your peace in the world.  How this inner game and inner work may be one of the most powerful tools when it comes to creating a more peaceful world for all of us to live in.  If you cannot be at peace within yourself — your choices personally and professionally and how you show up in the world, it is pretty darn hard to spread peace to others through your relationships and your work in the world.  You can’t be at war within yourself, put on a happy face, and then profess peace to the external world.  It’s simply inauthentic, incongruent, and well, doesn’t work!.

So, listen in on our 30 minute conversation and let me know what resonates with you by adding a comment below.

Last week I had the pleasure of going to the National Historic Park for Women’s Rights in Seneca Falls, NY.  Here we are standing next to the Declaration of Sentiments monument.

It was an inspiring few hours there.  To be in the space and energy of what women throughout history have done to stand up for the right to actually experience their birthright in America – equality.

This experience inspired me to write my recent newsletter entitled “What Do You Stand For?”. Do YOU know?  Can you answer these questions?

• What do I stand for?
• What do I stand for as a person?  Who am I really?
• What do I stand for in my business?

If you can’t you’re at the mercy of the whims and tides of life circumstances and others.   Read the complete article “What Do You Stand For?” here

If you want to get in on the action and specials I offer to members of my newsletter list – you can do so by signing up for my Move From Fear to Freedom eCourse (and it is FREE).

Overwhelm. Who hasn’t experienced it? For many, especially if you own your own business, it can be a daily occurance.  You know the feeling — there is oh so much on the to-do list and I need to remember this and oh yeah I forgot about that how will I get it all done — barrage of thoughts.  When this flood of ego-mind thoughts come rushing in it is often referred to as monkey mind.

I was recently reading one of Jack Kornfield’s books after my morning meditation practice and there was a paragraph that described the intense rush of thoughts and emotions as being akin to a monkey swinging wildly from branch to branch in a lush rainforest.  I smiled at that image and thought to myself that when I am in overwhelm it is like a whole pack of monkeys going wild through the forest of my mind.

The #1 best thing you can do to overcome overwhelm and get more done is to STOP. That’s right, counterintuitive as it may be, stopping is the starting point for taming the beast and regaining a sense of calm, control and effectiveness.  Then you need to get clear on what is really going on in your mind and body and what you do and do not want.

Nat at Prosperity Lighthouse has an excellent post on the 5 Steps to Getting Beyond Procrastination.  In it he details the steps of one of the key systems I use myself and with my clients to  overcome overwhelm as well as a wide variety of challenges.    Here’s an important snippet from his article:

The next step is to identify what you do want. Most people don’t know what they want; therefore, they continue to attract what they don’t want.  By identifying what you want, you are given a different focal point, rather than staying in the energy of what you don’t want.  Whatever you focus on is what you get, so it is better to be clear on what you want so you attract more of that!

The next step is to ask yourself is “How will I feel once I have what I want?” The reason you want to become clear on how you will think you will feel is because ultimately this is what you wanted to feel in the first place.  By tapping into these feelings, you are tapping into the energy that will carry you through the process.

Who actually wants to feel overwhelmed right?  Yet we quickly and often plunge into a pool of overwhelm and can’t seem to get out.  By stopping, bringing light to what IS happening and then making a conscious shift to what you DO want allows you to shift from victim of overwhelm to creator of your own experience in just moments.

If you are an overwhelmed Mom and entrepreneur, check out the Prosperity Lighthouse 6 week tele-program led by Julie Mele that is designed just for you.   You receive $50 off if you sign up by June 3rd.  Put Paula G in the “referred by” box to let them know I sent you! Learn more and register: http://www.ProsperityLighthouse.com/moms

Today I happened upon this article in The New York Observer entitled: “Beautiful People’ Ooze With Confidence at Overcrowded Paper Magazine Party”.

I am not one to follow popular anything for the most part and certainly not the social scene. Yet, I was drawn to this powerful comment by A-list heiress Lydia Hearst:

“Honestly, it’s about being comfortable in your own skin,” Ms. Hearst said. “Like, if you’re not confident in yourself, then you can’t really look good on the outside.”

It is so true though. No matter how great you look on the outside – buff, built, and beautiful, you can’t truly be great unless your relationship with yourself is equally strong.

Beauty really does grow from the inside out and when you are comfortable in your own skin you are always beautiful no matter what.