I recently spent ten days in the tremendous forests of Yosemite, Sequoia, and King’s Canyon National Park.  It is a sight to behold from the foothills through the alpine tundra.  The giant trees amaze, delight, and teach.  Integral to their story is the element of fire.  We often think of fire as a destructive force but in the forest it actually gives birth to new life.

In fact, it used to be that when a lightning strike started a fire, authorities worked to put the fire out.  That is no longer the case (although they may take steps to contain the spread of the fire).  What they’ve learned over the years is that a forest that has not experienced fire is not as healthy, inhibits new growth, and is actually a threat to the surrounding areas.  This is because when the floor of the forest is full of debris, new life cannot emerge because conditions do not support growth.

We can learn a great deal from the forest.  These lessons translate directly to what you and I do every day.  I love this great quote from John Muir:

“I met a great fire, and I stopped to watch it and learn what I could of its works and ways with the giants.”

Consider…

Where in your life, personally or professionally, is your environment so overgrown, cluttered, or full that it cannot support new growth?  New possibilities?  Healthy existence?

My guess is you could come up with a darn long list simply by looking through your schedule and your living/working space, right? Now take a look within your psychic space – how does your mind and body feel?  Clear and ready for new experiences and engagement or dying on the vine exhausted from the rat race?

If you feel stressed, constricted, or stagnant, this is a sign that your forest floor is in need of a change.

In the forest we now know that introducing fire where it is needed is a proactive step toward the overall health of the ecosystem and its inhabitants.  As a result, every year controlled burns are conducted in select areas. What that means is experts literally choose a portion of the forest in need of some natural housecleaning and new growth and they start a fire (on purpose).  They do this because they know transformation is necessary in order to ensure the optimal and long-term thriving of the forest and surrounding areas.

In fact, some trees like the Giant Sequoia can only grow if their seeds are released from their cone which only happens when subjected to extreme heat (fire).  The transformative power of fire is necessary for their birth and survival.

As I walked among the giants and pondered these truths, I was able to observe first hand areas in need of fire, those recently burned, and others filled with new growth.  As with many things in nature, the wisdom literally jumps out to say – and what are you going to do with this new knowledge? How does it apply to the way you move through the world?

I share this virtual walk through the giant forests with you so that you, too, can take a fresh look at your world.  My coach’s request is that you take a look around and ask:

• Where in my life or business do I feel restricted, constricted, and unable to grow and thrive?
• What needs to be released from my inner world or external circumstances in order for new possibilities to emerge?
• Where do I need to do my own “controlled burn” to release the old stuff that no longer serves me and clear the slate for something new?

Open your mind and heart to receive the messages you are meant to hear at this time.

Need support in getting clarity around what most wants to emerge in this next chapter of your life and then making that a reality now (versus waiting and hoping)?  Reach out to me at  and schedule a complimentary Intuitive Intelligence™ Activation Session and open to receive some powerful support.

What is your relationship with your body?

Is it a deep, sensual loving romance?

Or

A despicable, miserable, rotten, hateful one?

Or

Maybe somewhere in between?

If it’s anything less than a love affair, you might be missing out on a powerful channel of connection to your own intuition. After all our  bodies are what we get to inhabit for this human journey.  It is how we experience our life and is always accessible to us when we seek wiser council. Without this channel you are missing out on the key to jumping out of the rut you often find yourself in when you are struggling to create the success you seek.

You can feel an awkwardness, an unwillingness to be vulnerable and try something new.  You might feel like you are a klumsy, ugly fool in a room fool of gazelles.  You internalize it, stay in your own comfortable rut, in your body and in your mind, and voila you experience the same, less than satisfying results over and over again.

You may think it is just about your body, but its not. It shows up in your career, your business, and the work you’re most meant to do in the world. More specifically in the obstacles you are encountering as you yearn to discover and create the career and business you most desire.

How do I know this? I have had a love/hate relationship with my body for my entire existence.  The first few decades were almost purely hate.  The last decade or so has been living into and inhabiting my body in a new, gentler, more compassionate way.

Even with this new level of compassion,  the invitation to experience movement as a means to untap blockages in my business or my life makes my blood run cold.  And run cold it did, once again at the recent live event I attended hosted by my coach and mentor. The dreaded words “tonight we will be sweating our prayers doing an experiential exercise in body movement called the five rhythms” came out of her lips and I instantly shut down.  Here’s what went through my head:

• I already know that body awareness is beneficial please don’t make me do this.
• Oh my god do I really have to??!?!
• Here we go again, another retreat in which I get to be tortured with body movement or dancing so I can feel awful/nothing/out of place/self-conscious wishing I were somewhere other than here.

Can you relate to ever having these feelings?

So what did I do?  I showed up fully to the best of my ability in my body, mind, and soul that evening and allowed myself to have an experience. I did so by being willing.  Willing enough to open (even if just a crack), willing to feel whatever I was feeling, and willing to allow whatever insights, lessons, or breakthroughs might show themselves however big or small, if any at all.

Why is this important?  Because when you are not willing to break your normal patterns, no matter how big or small, you will stay exactly where you are, end of story.  If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.  No growth, no evolution, no outer results (goals achieved, money received, etc., etc.).

So what happened that night?  I felt awkward, trapped in my head, comparing myself to others, jealous of the gorgeous, fluid guest faculty member (and professional dancer), tired, bored, awkward, weird.  But you know what? I also noticed how different states of body awareness can silence the mind.  I could also clearly see how some of my own disconnects with my body play right into current obstacles I am experiencing.  And, I also felt a sense of release, presence, and non-attachment at times that felt really great.

So does this mean I am going to suddenly love dancing or experimental body movement?  Probably not (but I can tell you many years after leaning into this practice and healing of body image sometimes I actually really enjoy dancing from time to time!).  But I am able to tap into the awareness and ability to break repetitive patterns that aren’t serving me more quickly because I’ve experienced what it is like to do so at a cellular level – in my body, in my being, in my soul, not just in my head.  An intellectual understanding of anything is only 50% (or less) of the solution you seek.

Here’s my coach’s request to you… ask yourself:

• What is my relationship to my body right now?  On a regular basis?
• In what area of my life/given situations do I instantly react to by shutting down?
• How does shutting down in this way serve me?  (And don’t say it doesn’t because if you are doing it, it is serving you or you wouldn’t keep doing it, even if the way it serves you is simply to keep you in the illusion of safety or familiarity).

Be honest with yourself and see what shows itself… it just might surprise you.

If you are ready to open the door even the tiniest of cracks to break out of the same old patterns please reach out to me. I’d be happy to schedule a complimentary Intuitive Intelligence™ Activation Session with you… click here to schedule one.

I stumbled across this video about Margaret Roach and her new book And I Shall Have Some Peace There:Trading the Fast Lane for My Own Dirt Road via Pam Slim’s blog.

The question Margaret asks: “Didn’t you ever want to get up from your desk one day and just walk away, not to go get a latte, but I mean walk away and not come back?” SO rings true for me.  I can remember that feeling just about every day (sometimes many times a day) when I worked in Corporate.  Sometimes even now when I am building my business but not tending to my soul as much as I yearn to the same question can pop up.  Why?  Because it is being alive…our very life that we yearn for at our core.  No matter how purpose-full your livelihood is, if you aren’t tending to YOU in the process… you’re missing the point.

While I haven’t read her book yet … I am enthralled by her beautiful book trailer and absolutely must share it with you.  Remember that someone else’s idea of success may just be your idea of distress.

I watched this video today from TEDx Houston where Brene Brown a leading researcher and author talks about wholeheartedness.  These 20 minutes cut to the core of what it means to be fully alive and the barriers that keep us from doing so.  I just had to share it with you because so much of what she shares is integral to what I do and it moved me so much.

Thanks to Laura Neff who brought it to my attention on Facebook.

I recently had the opportunity to speak with a large audience of individuals in the midst of career transition.  These folks ranged from people who desperately needed a job because they had been out of work for a long time to people pro-actively seeking to reinvent their professional and personal lives.  One theme that ran throughout all their stories was that they were being told by “experts” that they have to be someone they are not if they want to be successful.  These tidbits of so-called well-meaning advice looked like:

• If you’ve always done “x”, it isn’t possible to change careers and do “y”.
• You’re too old/too young to earn that much money.
• You have to be whomever they want you to be if you think you’re going to work for/with them.

When I hear these sorts of things, it gets my panties in a twist.  Why?  Because while there could be some useful information hidden in the “advice”; they way it is delivered doesn’t serve people in any way, shape, or form.  What positive outcome could possible grow from telling people that they don’t really matter as individuals, they just need to suck it up and fit the mold of whomever is hiring?

I spent decades trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and “fit in” where I was never meant to “fit in”.  I asked all kinds of mentors and experts for advice and tried to be someone I was not.  Do you know what?  All these fabricated actions never led to one iota of success. Then I dropped the façade and stood confidently in my truth, then and only then was I able to achieve success on the inside and out.

Granted, sometimes this was met with resistance from others who wanted me to be someone I was not.  I had one ineffective and insecure manager literally ask me to leave my personality at the door.  Yet it was because of, not in spite of this, that I realized that success is impossible if you compromise your own integrity.

Because I’ve had these experiences and moved through them to the other side,  I’m on a personal crusade to guide others to believe and then experience the truth that you don’t have to sacrifice your authentic self to succeed in the world.  There is another way. In fact it is the only way you can create true and lasting success.

What would it be like for you if you could:

• Experience the satisfaction and achievement that comes from knowing what you do every day is in harmony with who you are at the deepest level?
• Feel fully confident in who you are and what you are here to offer?
• Express your essence and talents in a way that serves others and by doing so you are able to receive great rewards, financial and otherwise?

Life Alchemy™ is about embracing the person you most want to be in this world and then expressing that through everything you do.  It becomes the foundation from which you serve the world, earn your living, and choose how to spend your time.

Does this mean that you never have to change, adjust, or grow in order to be successful?  Absolutely not. In fact willingness to do so is a requirement if you want to experience something different than what you are already experiencing.

If you think about it, at the core, your life, career, and business and the success, meaning, and results you derive from it will always come from you.  It’s not “out there” somewhere swirling around waiting to randomly land on your doorstop if you’re “lucky”.  It begins with and ultimately flows to and through you.

No one else can ever be an expert on who you most want to be, but you.

Life Alchemy™ Coaching Step:

1. Take stock of where you are right now in your career and business.  Notice if you’re experience the results you want or feeling like you’re coming up short.
2. Make a list of all the expert advice you’ve been given over time.  Simply list it in bullet form on a piece of paper.  Don’t judge any of this advice as good or bad, just list it down.
3. Next to each item on the list – make a note of whether this advice is serving you (meaning you can directly see how being, doing, acting in this way is bringing you positive results), holding you back, or perhaps you’re not sure so just mark those with a “?”
4. Identify – in which areas do you see the biggest need for a change for the better?  Circle those items.

If you’re ready to break through the myth of having to be someone you’re not in order to succeed or want help identifying what that best next step is for you in your career and business, you’re in luck. While only you can be an expert on you, sometimes you need a guide to help you get clear and take action. I specialize in helping people do just that.  Contact me if you’re ready to meet and move forward to succeed on your own terms.

Photo Credit

This week I am back from the BlogHer ’10 conference in New York City. For me the weekend was a study in contrasts.  Unlike BlogHer ’09 where I was a speaker, this time I simply planned on drinking in the experience without any specific time commitments. Last year I was stoked to be social; this year I am still walking the path of grief since my Mom died less than two months ago.

Since I was no longer a newbie, I knew what to expect – an overwhelming experience with a ton of women (2400 attendees up from the 1600 last year).  That is a lot of excitement and energy in one place.  And, not just any women… but the most powerful voices online today. You only need one snippet from the final keynote (quoted here from Denise Tanton’s post at BlogHer: You Are Powerful) to understand the magnitude of this power:

During the final keynote, I listened as Gloria Feldt talked about your power. I listened as she tried to tell you that the expo hall was filled with Fortune 10 companies because of YOUR power. I listened as Marie Wilson, Simran Sethi, and, Alison Stewart told you that your voice is important and you can achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve. I listened and I was thankful. Strong, powerful women were telling you exactly what I wanted to tell you. Surely we would all walk out of that keynote and feel able to embrace our power. What a wonderful way to end an event that really should send you home feeling strong, proud, and empowered.

As a contributing editor for BlogHer, I am particularly honored to be part of this community and am always humbled by the company I am in.  I thoroughly enjoyed meeting and connecting with many of  my fellow editors on Thursday night which was a wonderful start to the weekend.  Here’s the truth – you can own your own power and be humbled at the same time.  It truly can work that way (and certainly does for me).  Owning your voice is not about becoming an untouchable figure or icon on the shelf. It is about celebrating your brilliance and the brilliance of those around you.

I have to admit that this conference is normally overwhelming but was particularly so for me this year.  It marked the two month anniversary of my Mom’s untimely death and frankly was my first major networking event since.  Sure I’ve hit some of my local “regular” events, but nothing prepares a vulnerable soul for walking into the proverbial social experiment fryer known as BlogHer.  Before I left home I had already set my intentions and given myself permission to ease in and out of sessions and activities as I needed to.  Even so Friday felt like drinking from a fire hose.  Thankfully I received a number of golden nuggets before I chose to spend a quieter evening with friends. Here’s a very light recap with much more to come in future posts.

I decided to indulge the writer in me and attended “Writing Inspiration: Stoke Your Creativity” with Rita Arens, Carleen Brice, and Jan Sokoloff Harness.   I really needed this dose of inspiration. While I write for my business and love doing so, sometimes I forget that writing is a bit like your DNA.  It’s far deeper than a task on your marketing plan.  While I always write from the heart (it is never “just a task” for me), for some reason I can often lose sight of the joy of pure expression.  I can lose sight of the impact Ihave on others that I don’t even know about when I am writing.  I appreciated the wisdom of these women reminding me of ways to stoke the writing fires and get excited and interested about finding new and exciting ways to see the world, write it down, and share it with others.  While this was my first introduction to Carleen and Jan, Rita is my editor at BlogHer.  Well I have to say, I must have been living under a bush during all my communications with her because on numerous occasions this weekend, Rita totally blew my socks off with her wisdom, fire, her amazing writing voice, and inspiration.  Who knew? (apparently everyone but me!) I’ll be writing about one particular moving instance in an upcoming post.

One of the most exciting things I did during the conference was get interviewed by Yahoo! Shine for their You. Reinvented. series.  As I was walking past their booth, I thought – well wait a minute! I reinvented my career and I help others reinvent their lives and careers so I better get on the interview schedule!  You can catch the resulting video on my career reinvention here.

Next up I hit the “Intellectual Property Law” discussion with Latoicha Givens and Wendy Seltzer.  Another riveting discussion around the rights on the internet…from copyrights to trademarks and beyond.  I am always interested in this topic as a writer, photographer, business owner, and web designer.  These ladies kept what can be a dry topic very fresh and relevant.

I rounded out Friday with the “Social Media is Bringing Sexy Back to Branding – Do You Have the Social Media Strategy and Tools for Success?” panel.  This room was standing room only with a fire hazard worth of people sitting in the center aisle.  It was worth it though, because Susan Getgood, Beth Blecherman, and Kimberley Blaine gave an outstanding presentation on a gigantic topic.

I capped my day with the Community Keynote: Voices of the Year which will definitely make you laugh, think, and cry.

Like I said before, I took Friday night to have a quiet time with my friend (and talented singer and actress I might add) Linda Bianchi.  She took me to see The Highline which has amazing views and then we had a low-key dinner. It was truly what my aching heart needed amidst this big ‘ole conference…a warm, loving embrace from friends who understand what it is like to lose a parent unexpectedly.

The quiet Friday night did the trick because Saturday I was much more energetic and ready for the crowds. Not to mention after the community keynote I knew someone very special that I wanted to meet was in the house…

Putting my best powers of attraction to work, it took me only a few minutes to find her at breakfast (by reading twitter I might add… a handy tool for finding someone about 20 feet from you at such a conference).  I was thrilled to meet my friend Lissa Rankin of Owning Pink.  You might recall that I interviewed Lissa for my podcast a while ago. If you didn’t listen then… definitely do so now.  If you want a model of authenticity, look no further than Lissa. She is as gracious, gorgeous, and welcoming in person as she is through her very personal writing online. She invited me to have breakfast at their table which was a great blessing because I got to meet Dana Theus and talk quite a bit about the so many passions we have in common. For me this was the second time in the weekend where I really felt like I was able to come home.  My heart was overjoyed by the love and warmth I felt. I can’t fully explain it other than to say that my heart felt seen and loved in all its grief all while I could simultaneously be enjoying the journey of what I’m creating with my work and the ballyhoo that is BlogHer.

I indulged my writing self once again attending the “Where’s the Line or the Lie: Storytelling, Memoir, and Poetic License” panel with Jory Des Jardins, Jenny Lawson, and Julie Marsh.  To me there is nothing better than a serious topic that leaves the audience howling with laughter.  Jenny Lawson’s stories were hysterical but very appropriate for demonstrating the conundrums, unexpected blessings, and unpredictable consequences of being vulnerable and honest online.

I then hit “The Evolving Publishing Ecosystem” with writing experts Kamy Wicoff, Florinda, Penny Sansevieri and Carleen Brice. Clearly I love to write and I have more than one book idea in my head.  Frankly right now I have a full color photo book/coaching messages that I am looking to get published.  The kind of small book that is highly inspiration with a dose of practical that you have sitting on your desk at the office to keep you anchored in what you most want. I learned some new information that will help me in that publishing quest.

I decided to take a break for the last session, but I did manage to hop over to the geek lab and get some excellent help from Liz Henry.  Yes, even though I am a tech geek, I need other geeks to help light the way at times.  It is awesome to have the ability to pop in and out of these small rooms of support (writing lab, geek lab, etc.) to get just what you need when you need it.

I already mentioned the amazing closing keynote at the top of this post and will likely be writing more about that soon… If you’ve read this far, bless your heart! It was a wonderful, wacky, and worthwhile weekend and I hope I gave you some food for thought and a few fun photos to enjoy.

Have you ever talked about something you would really like to do or the type of person you’d like to be and then added the words -well, maybe someday” to the end of it?

If you have, you’re like so many people who wait.  Waiting for:

• “Extra” money before you invest in yourself
• The timing to be right
• Someone else to give you permission

Well, I want to share with you a very big secret- there is no someday on the calendar.

Ironically, one of the most important lessons my mother taught me was not by something she did but by something she didn’t do.  You see there lots of lessons she gifted me by the wonderful things she did or said and the loving way she moved through the world.  Yet I’ve always had a personal sense of urgency for living fully that never really made rational sense until now.  Let me explain…

Read more of  “Are You Waiting for Someday?”…

Sometimes we go through our days and forget to truly celebrate moments that have been turning points. Sometimes these are points along a continuum, part of the great big ripple effect that makes you who you are. Today I celebrate one of those days. You see June 26th would have been my parent’s 45th wedding anniversary. My Mom passed away earlier this month so instead of a time of celebration we all remain quite squarely in grief where tears come far more readily than smiles as we remember her. Yet I couldn’t let this year’s milestone pass without celebrating the uncommon act of courage by my Mom and Dad which enabled us to be a family of three and frankly allowed me to come into being at all.

The year was 1965 and they had been high school sweethearts for years and wanted to wed. There was only one problem – religion. The rules of the road and strongly held beliefs that can divide families, communities, and nations. I’m not talking about spirituality here, I’m talking about the man-made rules in churches that divide people’s souls. That create conflict where otherwise there would only be love. You can see the scene unfold: my Dad’s family – strict Catholics. My Mom’s family – Protestant. Never shall the two meet in happy matrimony.

In many cases today (but not all!) blended families are much easier to form. In 1965 that was not the case. Each family vehemently refused to step foot in the “other” church. The situation felt so impossible, in fact, that they literally thought it could never be so they separated for a few months. Miserable without each other and feeling despondent at not being able to be together, they realized that making a choice only to satisfy someone else would create only a life of regret. So, Love prevailed and they decided they would elope.

When you think of eloping today, you don’t think of a radical act. At least I don’t. I think of two people for whatever reasons deciding to fore go the stress, family conflict, or expense of a wedding, and choose to get married in a simple way. When I think back to what it must have been like 45 years ago and the conservative families my parents came from I see a tremendously courageous and radical act. A decision made (and certainly not likely) to put love before fear. To choose an authentic path for themselves no matter what. An act of courage worthy of celebration.

From the stories I have heard, there was clearly tension when they broke the news, but over the many years the families came to respect one another. Perhaps this melding was possible because of the utmost respect each of my parents had for each other and their own beliefs and traditions. I know I never felt anything but love and openness from both of them when it came to my own spiritual path and periodic religious choices along the way.

For many years I never gave this historic choice point much of a thought.  I only ever knew my parents as happily married, that they had eloped,  and our families as a typical blending of famliies.  Yet a few years ago when my Mom and I talked about it, it started to really sink in – the truly powerful choice they made.  The radical act it was.  And, the sheer degree of discomfort that each of them had to have felt as they made a choice that was right for them but that would make those they loved displeased (at least initially). It isn’t always comfortable to choose love over fear; to choose what is right for your higher good. You must choose anyway if you want to live fully and authentically.

What acts of true courage have you made that you gloss over and forget to celebrate? I invite you to celebrate them now.

What choices do you need to make right now (even if they might be unpopular or radical) so you can live fully the life you most want to live? I invite you to name them and claim them(and if you need support doing so, contact me).

Step into your own courage… it might not be comfortable, but it will certainly be beautiful and for your highest good.

As you may know, I am pretty passionate about using your fear for something greater.  We all have fear, and you’re never going to get rid of it fully, so why not harness it for good?  Why not make it your friend so you can move forward in your life with what you say you want instead of all that junk you say you don’t want?  In fact I’m so passionate about it, I even wrote a 5 part e-Course on turning your fear into freedom and give it to you for free, as my gift.  I feel that strongly about it.

So you can imagine I really enjoyed this recent video by Jonathan Fields called “Turning Fear Into Fuel”.  As a general  rule I enjoy his thoughtful, edgy, and spot-on posts.  Yet, this one really hit home for me because I recently had to walk through some of my biggest fears as I faced the death of my Mom, speaking at her funeral, and the great unknown abyss that faces me now only one week from her memorial services.  These events in my personal life reinforced for me the sense of controlled urgency we should all live with.  As the song Hand Me the Wine and the Dice from the musical Aspects of Love says “Death says live while you may for I am coming.”  In my book that isn’t a bell that tolls in doom but one that reminds daily that there is no day like today to make sure you’re living on purpose, pursuing the things that matter most to you, and being the person you most want to be.

It’s a worthwhile 18 minutes to sit back and watch Jonathan’s video…

Harold Whitman wrote:

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Do you know what makes you come alive?  Or,  like so many of us have you lost sight of that “zing”, that burst of energy that is truly you as you’ve marched through the demands of daily living over and over and over…?

Here’s the thing, if you’re feeling:

• Numbed out to your feelings (or wanting to numb them out)
• Devoid of any hobbies
• Overwhelmed or too exhausted to engage in activities you love to do

Then you need to come alive…and soon.

I’ve always been a very engaged person with lots of different interests.  Yet there were definitely times, years on end in fact, when I was so dissatisfied with my career, spent each day in a toxic job, and felt it was easier to give up on the things I loved doing.

Read the rest of: What Makes You Come Alive?