I admit it, when I read the book Eat, Pray, Love I loved it. Last weekend I went to see the movie Eat, Pray, Love and I loved that too, but in a different way.  Frankly I could leave it at that and say I’ve been deeply moved by both these pieces of creative work.  Yet there is something far bigger and important going on here with the release of the movie that can’t just be swept under the rug.  Two very important lessons…

At its core the book and the movie are about giving yourself permission to honor yourself and live fully without guilt. Take the time and space to get to know yourself deeply and make choices that align with who you really are.  While many critics call the scene where Julia Roberts (who plays Elizabeth Gilbert the main character and author of the book) demands “I used to have this appetite for my life and it is just gone. I want to go someplace where I can marvel at something.” as self-indulgent; I ask, when did it become a crime to want to be alive in your one precious life?  Much like the character in the movie, most women haven’t given themselves two weeks, heck two days to solely attend to what they really want and who they really want to be in this lifetime beyond just the titles and roles they carry.

As Megan Smith shares in her post “Eat Pray Love and Julie Roberts: Almost a Winning Combination”:

I have to admit, though, I was touched by Eat Pray Love because of issues I’m grappling with in my own life: Am I making the right choices, going in the right direction, living my life instead of just letting my life happen to me?

All questions we, especially we women, should be asking ourselves more often.

Think about it — when was the last time you asked yourself…got quiet…got in touch with your heart, and asked:

• Who do I really want to be in my life?
• What is my definition of success?
• What are some of the things I want to experience in this lifetime (And, do you have a plan in place to turn them from fantasy to reality?)?
• Am I really alive in my life or just passing through without much engagement?

If these questions are strangers to you, use the movie, the book, the conversations surrounding it as permission to begin that inner inquiry. You owe it to yourself.  Remember – you get to do it your way — this story is just one woman’s journey edited for publication and the silver screen.  The important thing is that you begin.  Create your own eat, pray, love story. Get support if you need to, just do it!

So why will millions of women who watched the movie or read the book never take barely one step toward their own journey?

Because of the second biggest lesson to be learned here.

The movie release drives home one of the biggest impediments to real-life everyday women making powerful choices to honor their authentic self – the harsh judgment of others. I realize this is a movie and critics get paid to kvetch about things but it seems particularly, well, biting and personal.

“Do the Work” they say. It’s like belonging to a narcissistic subculture of Woo-Woo. This is a movie about a self-obsessed woman.  It goes on and on…  Of course no one ever mentions the character’s heartfelt sharing of American culture with her Italian friends or raising $18,000 for the Balinese woman Wayan. Apparently those are just incidentals.

Now I’m not saying the movie is perfect nor am I saying there aren’t things I personally would change about it (like way too much footage devoted to the rebound boyfriend and not enough focus on the struggles and hard work Liz Gilbert spoke about deeply in her book), but the nature of a designated time frame to focus on self-discovery is by its very nature self-focused!  The REAL work involved with self-discovery wouldn’t exactly translate to the big screen – tell me how many people would like to watch someone return to morning meditation (in its entirety) day in and day out? I know my personal practice would bore the viewer to tears yet it is an integral part of my life.

What makes me sad is that millions of women will go home and think – well that was a great escape, but I can’t make a change, people might call me selfish.  Whereas the real gift from all this harsh criticism is to know that no matter what choices you make – some people are going to agree and like what you do, and some are not. Period end of story.  So when you find yourself feeling guilty or worried about taking time or investing in yourself to discover the best choices for your life, career, and business… feel it and then just drop it (like Richard from Texas in the movie might say).

You deserve the time and space to get in touch with your deepest longings and it is your birthright to make empowered choices that align with the life YOU most want to create.  The rest?  The critics?  It’s all just noise…allow it to be there, but don’t let it stop you from making the most of your own life.

A few weeks ago I had the immense blessing of spending a long weekend at Omega Institute to be a participant in the workshop “A Seeker’s Guide”.  The workshop was led by Elizabeth Lesser whose books The Seeker’s Guide:Making Your Life a Spiritual Adventure and Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow have made a tremendous impact on me.  What made this workshop particularly special was its timing for me.  I chose to attend fairly last minute as a gift to myself following the difficult and painful events with my Mom’s illness and death just a few weeks prior.  While the workshop spoke to me earlier in the year when I received the workshop catalog, it resonated even more strongly with me now. I saw it as a way for me to immerse myself in this deeply spiritual yet practical work and be in a very nourishing environment for a few days far away from all the external details of running a business and dealing with these immense changes in my life and simply BE.

Co-leading the workshop with Elizabeth were David Wilcox and Nance Pettit.  The musical medicine that David brought to the experience was a very visceral way to tap into the depth of the work.  From a simply musician and music lover point of view I have enjoyed David’s music in the past; this time, though it held a key to opening some of the floodgates of emotion that were pent up from all that had happened over the last few months.  Nance brought her own expertise about the body to the mix and not only held such a strong space for us all but guided us often and gently to reconnect in with the body.

The workshop followed the flow of the book “The Seeker’s Guide: Making Your Life a Spiritual Adventure” and I’d highly recommend reading this book for insight, comfort, practical advice, and warmth that is truly a gift.  I might add that in person Elizabeth is equally gifted as a powerful leader who is so easy to connect with and truly believes we are all walking this path and is quick to share her own experiences.  In the book and workshop she breaks down the spiritual journey into four landscapes:

The Landscape of the Mind - this is the realm that focuses on our ability to bring presence to our moments and ease anxiety and stress by harnessing the power of our minds. We focused a lot on the practice of meditation and the games our minds play during this part of the workshop.

The Landscape of the Heart – truly connecting with our hearts so we can be fully alive.  Being fully open to our hearts means being willing to be broken open by the sorrows and grief that finds us and use it as a catalyst in our lives.  How we deal with grief, loss, and pain will determine whether we shut down or open up to ourselves, our lives, and others.  Needless to say the exercises in this part of the workshop hit a very raw spot inside of me but I welcomed it all in…

The Landscape of the Body – we live in our bodies, so why are they so often banished from the spiritual conversation?   They are our homes for however long we are on the planet, so let’s engage them in our practice, shall we?  Elizabeth led us through some very powerful discussions and exercises dealing specifically with the fear of death and what it might teach us.

The Landscape of the Soul - how to experience each day as it is full of mystery and meaning.  What can our soul teach us about living?  How might we move through our lives differently if we listened to our souls?

I walked away from a weekend of depth and an awful lot of sorrow (for me as I could open more fully to what I was feeling) really feeling cared for (by myself and the amazing workshop leaders and support team) and grateful for the journey.  I was reminded again that so often we need to retreat in order to move forward.  We’re just not meant to sweep our fully human self that comes complete with foibles, deep emotions, and needs that don’t fit neatly into the day-to-day axe grind environment we live and work in.  That is the real challenge for the everyday spiritual warrior – leaning in to being fully alive and doing what it takes to nourish that very important part of oneself that yearns to disconnect from all the buzzing, beepers, and doing – to create breathing space – to connect in to self, to nature to others – and to be alive and aware along the journey.

Have you ever talked about something you would really like to do or the type of person you’d like to be and then added the words -well, maybe someday” to the end of it?

If you have, you’re like so many people who wait.  Waiting for:

• “Extra” money before you invest in yourself
• The timing to be right
• Someone else to give you permission

Well, I want to share with you a very big secret- there is no someday on the calendar.

Ironically, one of the most important lessons my mother taught me was not by something she did but by something she didn’t do.  You see there lots of lessons she gifted me by the wonderful things she did or said and the loving way she moved through the world.  Yet I’ve always had a personal sense of urgency for living fully that never really made rational sense until now.  Let me explain…

Read more of  “Are You Waiting for Someday?”…

As you may know, I am pretty passionate about using your fear for something greater.  We all have fear, and you’re never going to get rid of it fully, so why not harness it for good?  Why not make it your friend so you can move forward in your life with what you say you want instead of all that junk you say you don’t want?  In fact I’m so passionate about it, I even wrote a 5 part e-Course on turning your fear into freedom and give it to you for free, as my gift.  I feel that strongly about it.

So you can imagine I really enjoyed this recent video by Jonathan Fields called “Turning Fear Into Fuel”.  As a general  rule I enjoy his thoughtful, edgy, and spot-on posts.  Yet, this one really hit home for me because I recently had to walk through some of my biggest fears as I faced the death of my Mom, speaking at her funeral, and the great unknown abyss that faces me now only one week from her memorial services.  These events in my personal life reinforced for me the sense of controlled urgency we should all live with.  As the song Hand Me the Wine and the Dice from the musical Aspects of Love says “Death says live while you may for I am coming.”  In my book that isn’t a bell that tolls in doom but one that reminds daily that there is no day like today to make sure you’re living on purpose, pursuing the things that matter most to you, and being the person you most want to be.

It’s a worthwhile 18 minutes to sit back and watch Jonathan’s video…

One of my favorite movies growing up was “Dead Poet’s Society”.  This scene sums up the message – seize the day.  Don’t die with your music still in you.

I can talk all about 10 ways to be more productive, find more time in your day, boost your bottom line, or simply get more and they would give you benefit. Yet as I was thinking about which “10″ I wanted to write about today, I decided to get to the meat of the matter and talk about 10 ways you could add more meaning to your days. That means more meaning in your business or professional life and more meaning in general.

Truthfully without a sense of purpose, meaning, and connection, what’s the point?   You can be the most driven woman on the planet, but if you’re lacking these, you’ll find yourself hollow and racked with sobs should you take a moment to contemplate how you’re spending your one precious life.  So, tap into your power right here and now and try on these ideas for size.

1) Get Quiet
If you want to make sure you’re on track in your life and career, get quiet.  Regular doses of complete quiet and stillness are key if you want to tune into your intuition and most wise self.  If you don’t you’re left to the whims of the world tossing you about.  I listened to Dr. Wendy Warner speak as a keynote the other day at an event where I was presenting and she really drove home the importance of being quiet to women’s health. Her suggestion was at least 5-15 minutes a day where you literally are quiet – no TV, no phones, cell phones, email, etc.  Have your morning tea and stare at the bird feeder if you need to, but just get quiet for a moment and exhale.

2) Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is more than a bubble bath (though that can be good too!).  I often talk a lot on this topic to groups because self-care forms the foundation for everything else we build, personally or professionally.  You can’t build a career or business on a house of cards over a swamp, yet that is what we often try to do when we skip caring for ourselves in the process.  My first foray into understanding what this really meant was when I started to discover Cheryl Richardson’s work about a decade ago. Her books Take Time for Your Life and The Art of Extreme Self-Care are classics and very workable for anyone to do.

3) Rest Well
Sleep.  We all need it and without adequate quality sleep your life will be infinitely less meaningful because you’ll be too tired, wired, and stressed to enjoy it.  While the occasional red-eye flight of coffee-driven day might be necessary along your way, it is not a life plan. Here are “14 Tips for Getting More Sleep – And Why It Matters”. It’ll make you happier, healthier, and allow more meaning to flow from your everyday.

4) Take Care of Your Dreams
While the day to day might not leave you very much time to nourish your dreams, you need to.  Take time each day to care for you, to care for your life.  Even if you can’t take time out each day to pursue your dreams (say by engaging in a hobby or doing something you really love) you can take time to honor that part of yourself.  Notice and honor what you are feeling.  Upgrade your mindset.  Align your choices with what you really want rather than going with the flow.  Tending to dreams can be as short and simple as choosing to spend your lunch break on your terms or it can be elaborate.

5) Get Moving
Our bodies were meant to move.  The human body wasn’t built to sit in a chair all day tapping away on a keyboard or straining to have big fingers find little keys on a Blackberry.  You don’t necessarily have to “workout” to experience the benefits of moving.  Just get your body moving doing something you love.  If you do like the idea of 10 minutes of exercise, that is a way to go too.  It’s good for your mind, your health, and your energy. Not to mention movement can help you get unstuck no matter what the challenge.

6) Be Grateful
It’s easy to stay focused on what we don’t have or still want to achieve/acquire.  Yet we’ll always want something else.  A quick way to find meaning in your life is to be grateful for what is and the blessings you already have around you.  If you can’t think of one, start with the fact that you are able to draw breath and be here right now. You can write down three things you are thankful for each day as in this daily practice or get creative with ways to exercise your gratitude muscle.

7) Connect with Someone
I don’t mean poke them on Facebook, Tweet them on Twitter, or send them an email. I mean literally connect with someone you like or care about in real-time.  Call them out of the blue.  Stop by. Be with them.  Have you ever gotten an out of the blue call from someone you love?  Now how good did that make you feel?  Did it allow you to step back from your ledge of insanity?  Did it allow you to sink in and remember why you wander the planet in the first place?  Did you breathe a little deeper?  Smile wider? Perhaps laugh?  If these aren’t enough reasons to find meaning in your connection with others, I don’t know what is.  Remember that tomorrow is promised to no one, so connect as often as you can.

Relax
Life is terminal, so just relax a bit, will you? Stress can and will kill you, or at the very least kill your spirit.  So take the pressure off. Relax a bit.  If you’re not sure what that means, you might enjoy this funny look at “The True Meaning of Relaxation”.  While humorous some of the dictionary definitions of relaxation may spur you to just chill a bit.  Turn the intensity dial down a hair.  I know if can be hard, believe me I can be a person who runs at intensity dial 10, but remember you can’t drive all the time with the pedal to the metal.

9) Laugh Hard and Often
Laughter is just plain fun.  In fact it is a form of exercise from the inside out.  I know I used to laugh a ton when I worked in an office, if only at the absurdity of things that happened (Dilbert could be filed under nonfiction).  Now that I work from a home office I laugh a lot less.  Sure the cats or squirrels or birds offer a chuckle here and there but there’s a lot less of that full-blown hysterical laughter. I miss it.  Laughter is good for what ails you and can help you cope with everything from mild depression to the rigors of day to day living.  Not taking ourselves or life too seriously is paradoxically very important if you wish to mine the depths of deeper meaning in your world.

10) Embrace Mindfulness
Mindfulness is being aware of what we are doing and who we are being. Learning to be mindful is a life-long practice but can yield great benefits. If you’re not present with your experiences it’s almost impossible for them to be meaningful because you weren’t there at the party so to speak. Just by opening up to what is already in front of you can bring meaning flooding in (or perhaps the realization that changes are needed in your life so as to make it more aligned with who you are and what you want).

Not one of these 10 ways require that you take a huge chunk of time out of your busy schedule. In fact many of them can be practiced right in the flow of what you’re already doing.  So remember, life is short, don’t miss it.

As you’re racing about your day, do you stop for beauty when you see it?  The proverbial “stop and smell the roses”? It may sound trivial, but if you want to feel alive and confident in your business then it pays to hit the breaks, take a detour, and gaze at cool stuff once in a while.

The other morning as I was working at my desk in the early morning, the rose I had in a vase (courtesy of a speaking engagement over the weekend!) was suddenly magically illuminated by the sun rising over the trees.  The photographer in me got very excited at this back lightning opportunity and lunged for my camera.  Then I started playing with angles, and sunshades, and random, quick things I could do to get a better shot.  The whole escapade lasted maybe five minutes maximum.  By then the sun had risen just a bit more and the magic lighting was not as intense.

This little fun detour made my morning.  There was fun, a burst of energy, and just a deep gratitude for the beauty in little gifts.  Sometimes as entrepreneurs we need these itty bitty signs of hope to keep walking the path to bring our work to the world.  In fact I’d say most of us, no matter what our profession need these magical moments to add a bit of juice to our day, to our very being.

So, when they happen to you – do you stop to enjoy the magic or do you just walk on by?  After all there’s so much to-do!  Gotta go, gotta hurry, gotta be somewhere!  I’m here to tell you that no one’s success was every sabotaged by taking a deep breath and marking the moment. By enjoying a moment in the day that speaks to you.  Enjoying magical moments are the perfect way to bring more energy and creativity to your life and business.  Don’t miss them… they pass far too fast.

When I saw this video of Elizabeth Gilbert, I just had to share it here. Her thoughts on showing up for your life, moving through fear, embracing your creativity, and releasing expectation and judgment of yourself is so utterly moving and inspiring. It is a must-see video…grab a cup of tea and treat yourself to 18 minutes of this.

Source of Video: http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

And thanks to Karyn Greenstreet’s blog post which is where I got tipped off to watch this.

Let’s face it, we all have days where things don’t go the way we’d like. Appliances break, technology glitches, inconveniences pop up, people get upset with us, or circumstances beyond our control throw the wrench in our best laid plans. Perhaps one or more of these things have put you in a bad mood. There’s nothing wrong with a brief bad mood indulgence, but sitting in your dirty diapers isn’t going to perk you up or move you forward. You can make things better, however and the best way to do that is to shift your energy. It is like changing your proverbial energetic diaper.

How do you do that? Well, depending on where you are and what you’re doing, your choices will change. The good news is that there is always something you can do.

For instance, today has had its share of hiccups for me. In fact there is one big hiccup facing me that is frustrating me because something outside of my control is not allowing me to serve a client up to my standards. Yet, technology happens and I am doing my utmost to make it all right. I can either sit here and stew or creating some breathing space for resolution to show itself and shift my energy. Therefore, I’m choosing one of my favorite tips for shifting the energy of a bad mood which I’ll put as #1 here:

Get a Change of Scenery

Literally a change of scenery can do you good. Whether that is going outside (if you’re inside), taking a drive, a walk, a paddle, getting out in nature, or any old thing that will allow you to remove yourself from the physical space in which you are experiencing feeling stuck, frustration, or a challenging problem.  You can go near or far (even just to another room for that matter), but clear out from the physical space you are in and move. Allow your senses to re-focus and re-adjust onto something different.

Get Moving

Personally I like to combine get moving with a change of scenery. Moving your physical body immediately shifts your energy.  Whether it is a gentle walk, some yoga poses, or a vigorous workout, movement gets the blood flowing, chemicals changing in your body, and a sense of control.  Moving is taking action and gives you more control over a situation. Not to mention when you’re removed from the scene and moving your body new ideas, solutions, creativity, and a sense of calmness just show up.  It is a total stress-buster.

Listen to Music

Putting on music is a great way to shift your mood and your energy. Feeling down?  Put on something upbeat.  Feeling stressed and frazzled? Listen to something calming. If you play an instrument, get it out and go to town.  Like to sing?  Belt away.  The rhythm and tonal quality of music has a physical effect on your body that will shift (or amplify) whatever you are feeling.  The release is emotional and physical.  Music is vibration, vibration is energy.

Snap Your Mind Out of the Groove it is Stuck In

If you are old enough to remember record albums (as in LPs and a needle), remember how occasionally it’d get stuck in a groove and repeat over and over? Same thing happens now with CDs and the occasional defective MP3 file.  Something skips or repeats over and over.  That’s what our mind is like when we are obsessing about a problem or bad mood.  All you need to do it whack your thinking like you would the side of the turntable.  Gently but just enough to pop it out of the groove.  Open a book, watch a TV show, sample a You Tube clip or get engaged for even 5 minutes in a hobby.  Anything at all that can shift your focus and snap your mind out of its unproductive groove.

Laugh Your A** Off

Humor is the answer.  Find a way to laugh about something. Laugh at something funny (again TV, You Tube clip, cartoon, joke, etc.). It instantly lifts your mood and shifts your energy.  Have you ever been in a serious situation and then something ridiculous happened and you burst out laughing?  Didn’t that shift your energy?  Well, you can do that when you choose as well by seeking out something funny and letting the laughter rip.

Count Your Blessings

OK this might sound a little Hallmark like, but shifting your gaze to something you are grateful for also shifts your energy.  It allows you to shift your perspective off of what is NOT working and onto what IS.  It doesn’t make the problem or bad mood vanish instantly but frees up some breathing room so you can re-center yourself.

So, if you’re having a bad day…don’t sit and stew.  DO something.  Once you shift your energy you’ll not only feel better but you’ll also be more productive. And, the more willing you are and less attached you are, the more likely a solution to your problem will show itself organically.

Quick Note Update 8/19/09:  Even if your change of scenery results in paddling your kayak frantically to get back before wicked thunderstorms…it can STILL shift your bad mood (as evidenced by my experience last night!)

Things are getting fast and furious here as I get prepared for my trip to BlogHer ‘09 in Chicago. I wanted one more exciting thing I’ll be participating in as an expert that you can participate in from the comfort of wherever you are. I was invited to participate in the Pepsi Co. Live with Purpose Tweetup happening live at 12:15p Central on Friday, July 24th. The conversation has already started and will continue well beyond the conference, but you will want to be there live and online. The host for the event will be Jill Beraud, CMO PepsiCo with special guest Lee Woodruff, Author & Journalist. A small panel of experts (me being one of them!) will be tweeting live from BlogHer. The public can chime in at any time via Twitter using the hashtag #livewithpurpose.

The official site is up at http://www.pepsico.com/livewithpurpose – check out all the great guests.

I’m excited to be a part of this most important conversation. You can go to Twitter and search on #livewithpurpose to get in on the chat. Below is a stream of the latest in the conversation:

I’ll point you to an official Pepsi recap as well my own thoughts following the conference.