Over the holidays I happened to be hanging out after grocery shopping at the big Whole Foods near my home… the special one with the pub where you can grab a glass of wine or microbrew and have a bite to eat.  (You’ve got to remember I live in Pennsylvania and this is a big freaking deal since you can’t buy wine or beer except in restaurants and state run liquor stores here.)  I love to go here as a treat a few times a month because I can buy healthy food and get a treat which frankly makes errands far more fun and playful.

On this particular Thursday night, the place was packed because it was the holidays and there were lots of people shopping the store and many more enjoying a free beer tasting.  Then out of nowhere an alarm starts going off in the store blaring away in a high-alert sort of way.  Guess what happened next?

Absolutely nothing…

People did not even flinch yet alone investigate or take action.

I was fairly amazed.  Not that I’d suggest an ensuing panic, but at least SOME acknowledgment of the fact that an alarm designed to alert people to something unwanted, unexpected, and potentially dangerous was sounding.

Another five minutes or so went by and then, blam!  The alarm starts blaring away again.

And, what happened?

Once again, absolutely nothing.  No reactions, no investigation, and no announcement over the store speaker.

As I sat there deeply savoring my Belgium triple ale I was stunned and speechless.  Then immediately it hit me.  The connection between this event and why so many people, particularly business owners, seem to be marching along doing more of the same even when it isn’t working and is making them unhappy. It became resounding clear to me yet again.  No one is listening to the whispers.

What whispers?  The whispers of intuition that are available to each and every one of us if you only tune into and heed their message.  In fact not only are people not listening to the whispers, I see so many tuned out entirely, in their own “safe” cocoon ignoring what IS.  That’s what was going on in the Whole Foods that night… people were:

• Busy
• Rushing around and stressed out with the holiday season
• Oblivious to everything around them except what they wanted to see

While there was no real cause for alarm in this case…what if there was?  What if there was some small bit of information available to you to stay safe but you were too busy not paying attention (multi-tasking, texting, tweeting, or whatever) to notice? It is well documented in the book The Survivor’s Club that often the difference between life and death in unusual circumstances is awareness.

It may seem like an extreme example, but what I know for sure is that there is a world of wisdom, information, clarity, and peace available in each moment that we often simply pass by because we’re not being mindful. We’re not tuned into the whispers.  And, when we’re listening to the cacophony around us (and in our heads) we can’t hear them.

The answers you seek – to your struggles, to starting/navigating a transition successfully, to the experience you want in your life and business is contained in the whispers.  They are there just waiting for you to tune in, pay attention, and trust them.  The only question is…

Are you willing?

Want to know how to tune into and then turn the power of intuition into practical action for more peace, prosperity, and bliss in your business?  Apply for an Intuitive Intelligence Activation Session if you’re ready to make this your reality at http://www.thepaulagcompany.com/application

Credit Image: Shannon Clark via Flickr

All we are and all we experience is governed by the laws of impermanence. Impermanence is one of the essential doctrines or three marks of existence in Buddhism. The term expresses the Buddhist notion that all of conditioned existence, without exception, is in a constant state of flux.  In impermanence you can find your own liberation. The campfires of a recent sitting meditation illustrated and grounded this teaching for me and a group of dear friends.

This past Saturday was a full moon, not just any full moon but a super full moon which was extra special because of how large and bright it appeared in the sky.  I am blessed to have a regular community of women with whom we mark nature’s cycles in and around the full moon each month.  We sit in meditation, sometimes a purely silent meditation, sometimes with movement, sound, or whatever moves us based on the energy of the group.  It is a most sacred and special space we create that can hold each person’s greatest joys, challenges, and sorrows both individually, for the group, and the world at large.  With it being the first weekend of spring (albeit a windy and brisk one!) we chose to honor the space by sitting outside with a huge campfire.  The fire and wind became our meditation.  Our senses grounded us in the present and transcended the moment. It was a truly magical gathering.

In the fire we literally witnessed our own impermanence and that of everything and everyone around us. With a soft gaze you could literally watch transformation in action.  Have you ever really watched a fire? I mean watched with every ounce of your being, fully present, and mindful?  The wood transforms, the wind kicks up and like a bellows amplifies the fire.  The cold wind on your skin followed by the heat of the fire transfixes you.  What you see is literally an illusion.  There one minute and different the next.  what started as wood becomes ash.  What appeared to be one thing is no longer.  All while you bear witness grounded in your very being.  And as you bear witness inside of you changes are happening at a rapid rate.  Changes in your vital signs, your very cells.

If this is so for something as simple as a campfire, so it is with all things.  You can’t stop the campfire from burning and changing (sure you can throw a bucket of water on it, but that itself will create yet another transformation)  any more than you can stop the dynamic nature of life and the very energies of your experience.  Universal law is always at work on a macro and a micro level.  In vague, intangible ways and in our very tangible day to day experiences.

Can you feel the magnitude of this?

So why then do we so often retreat into our heads, engaging in mental gymnastics trying to “figure it all our” or mastermind the “right” and “safe” decisions?  Because it perpetuates the illusion that you have control and that somehow if you just do it “right” everything will turn out perfectly and you’ll be spared the discomfort that comes along with trusting life. Paradoxically you also will be spared the greatest joys and successes.  So much for the “safe” decision!

Impermanence is liberating. It is meant to be because it is the natural order of life.  Unfortunately the nature of the human experience is that we want the not-so-happy or pleasing things to be impermanent but the stuff we really love to somehow be permanent.  The beauty (and sometimes the bummer from our human viewpoint) of universal truths is that they are always at work. Not selectively, only when we want them to be.

I love this writing from Thich Nhat Hanh as it beautifully captures this conflict we feel:

Nothing remains the same for two consecutive moments. Heraclitus said we can never bathe twice in the same river. Confucius, while looking at a stream, said, “It is always flowing, day and night.” The Buddha implored us not just to talk about impermanence, but to use it as an instrument to help us penetrate deeply into reality and obtain liberating insight. We may be tempted to say that because things are impermanent, there is suffering. But the Buddha encouraged us to look again. Without impermanence, life is not possible. How can we transform our suffering if things are not impermanent? How can our daughter grow up into a beautiful young lady? How can the situation in the world improve? We need impermanence for social justice and for hope.
If you suffer, it is not because things are impermanent. It is because you believe things are permanent. When a flower dies, you don’t suffer much, because you understand that flowers are impermanent. But you cannot accept the impermanence of your beloved one, and you suffer deeply when she passes away. If you look deeply into impermanence, you will do your best to make her happy right now. Aware of impermanence, you become positive, loving and wise. Impermanence is good news. Without impermanence, nothing would be possible. With impermanence, every door is open for change. Impermanence is an instrument for our liberation.

This is why to ride the wave of life we are called to do more than just be in our heads.  We are meant to bridge the gap between our heads and our hearts.  We are meant to combine the wisdom of our natural intuition with the powers of our mind.  It is from this philosophy that I created Intuitive Intelligence™ because I frankly learned, often through pain, that I’m meant to live more fully, more alive, and more successfully and to do that it can only happen by stepping out of a limited mind.  Yes our minds our powerful. Knowledge is good. Intelligence is fabulous.  AND… it is not the whole story. Seriously, try wrapping only your head around this concept of impermanence.  Then… try experiencing it in some way – mindful observation of a beautiful campfire, a flowing body of water, your vegetable garden.  Do you notice a difference? Feel a difference?  I guarantee you will.  It is from this space that you are called to make your wise decisions about everything from what you want to do this evening to your professional path.  It is a radical new way …

If you need help making this transformation for yourself… contact me so we can chat and you can receive support.

With Hanukkah wrapping up and the Christmas/New Year’s holiday picking up steam, its time for some straight talk about how to do the season well.  It’s common this time of year to wonder, how can I do this in a way that feels right?  There are so many decisions to make – how do I make them so they feel good and make sense? What do I do if I want to bow out of the holiday madness without ticking off those I love?  How can I be present in the holidays even in the face of loss?

While there is no one right answer for everyone, there is always a wise answer for you at any given moment.  I know for myself personally this season is the most difficult I have ever had to navigate before.  All those typical holiday stresses – What do I buy for so-and-so? How can I get my 42 dozen cookies baked before Monday? Why is there always one damn light out on any given strand of lights and it only shows itself once it is already on the tree/roof/bushes?  – seem like a cakewalk compared to experiencing this first holiday season with the loss of my Mom.  With that said, this season brings light to the darkness physically (holiday lights, the beautiful menorah, etc.) and spiritually (the meaning behind so many traditions regardless of religion or dogma), and so it can be for all of us, even for just a moment, if we are willing to be present with ourselves and our experiences.

It is my hope that these 3 keys will support you in making wise decisions this season and allow you to feel the love and gratitude that is available to you no matter the circumstance.

Give Yourself Permission

In a season filled with so many expectations both real and perceived, give yourself permission to have your own experience and make your own choices.  No lives will be lost if you decline an invitation, scale back on spending, don’t buy the perfect gift (even if your kids tell you they will die!), indulge in something decadent for yourself, or simply choose to create this holiday in a way that feels right to you. Many of us have lived perfectly well-adjusted lives both with and without the Cabbage Patch Dolls (the gigantic knock-down-drag-them-out shopping wars one holiday season in the 80’s).  So, take the pressure of expectations off and allow yourself to be guided by what feels right to you and serves the highest good.

Consciously Choose

The pace of our daily lives is normally on hyper-speed.  When the holidays hit warp speed gets taken up a notch further.  We try to add an inordinate amount of things to do on top of an already onerous list.  Recipe for exhaustion, frazzled nerves, and wayward decision making.  Many important decisions get made this time of year both personally and professionally.  For many business (entrepreneurial and corporate alike) it is year-end wrap up and next-year planning time.  It becomes a radical blend of the strategic and the tactical. Personally it is a time to reflect on the past year and set powerful intentions for 2011.  It can be a time of unconscious spending and overindulging that results in financial and physical hangovers come January.  It doesn’t have to be this way.  I invite you to create some space in your mind and your day so you can make conscious choices. Run every choice through the following test:

• Is this something I truly want to do, be, have, or give?
• Is this choice aligned with what I say I really want or is it just filling time/distracting me?
• Will I feel as good about this choice in one day, one week, one month, and one year from now as I do in this moment?

Literally stopping and tuning in will change your entire experience.

Take Time to BE

We’ve already established you are busy. This is why it is even more important for you to simply take time to BE.  By this I mean allow yourself to simply be with what you are feeling.  If this holiday brings up more grief, pain, regret, sadness, or some other less than joyful feeling for you, allow yourself to feel it and let it be ok.  There is nothing wrong with you – those smiling, always happy, everything perfect faces you see in holiday television ads are not real.  When you find moments of joy, love, and gratitude in this season allow yourself to truly feel that as well.  It can be hard to let in the good stuff, even harder if you are experiencing tough times.  Know that it is ok for you to have a full range and expression of feelings and that they all deserve your presence and respect for they are part of your experience. Be kind to yourself and practice good self-care so you can be present, for yourself and those you love.  That means get your body moving (exercise), get outside, sleep well, eat well (moderation, not all or nothing), program down-time into your days, and tend to your spirit.

The holidays are just another one of life’s experiences and an opportunity to practice being fully alive in and creating your experience.  Many blessings to you and those you love!

I can talk all about 10 ways to be more productive, find more time in your day, boost your bottom line, or simply get more and they would give you benefit. Yet as I was thinking about which “10″ I wanted to write about today, I decided to get to the meat of the matter and talk about 10 ways you could add more meaning to your days. That means more meaning in your business or professional life and more meaning in general.

Truthfully without a sense of purpose, meaning, and connection, what’s the point?   You can be the most driven woman on the planet, but if you’re lacking these, you’ll find yourself hollow and racked with sobs should you take a moment to contemplate how you’re spending your one precious life.  So, tap into your power right here and now and try on these ideas for size.

1) Get Quiet
If you want to make sure you’re on track in your life and career, get quiet.  Regular doses of complete quiet and stillness are key if you want to tune into your intuition and most wise self.  If you don’t you’re left to the whims of the world tossing you about.  I listened to Dr. Wendy Warner speak as a keynote the other day at an event where I was presenting and she really drove home the importance of being quiet to women’s health. Her suggestion was at least 5-15 minutes a day where you literally are quiet – no TV, no phones, cell phones, email, etc.  Have your morning tea and stare at the bird feeder if you need to, but just get quiet for a moment and exhale.

2) Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is more than a bubble bath (though that can be good too!).  I often talk a lot on this topic to groups because self-care forms the foundation for everything else we build, personally or professionally.  You can’t build a career or business on a house of cards over a swamp, yet that is what we often try to do when we skip caring for ourselves in the process.  My first foray into understanding what this really meant was when I started to discover Cheryl Richardson’s work about a decade ago. Her books Take Time for Your Life and The Art of Extreme Self-Care are classics and very workable for anyone to do.

3) Rest Well
Sleep.  We all need it and without adequate quality sleep your life will be infinitely less meaningful because you’ll be too tired, wired, and stressed to enjoy it.  While the occasional red-eye flight of coffee-driven day might be necessary along your way, it is not a life plan. Here are “14 Tips for Getting More Sleep – And Why It Matters”. It’ll make you happier, healthier, and allow more meaning to flow from your everyday.

4) Take Care of Your Dreams
While the day to day might not leave you very much time to nourish your dreams, you need to.  Take time each day to care for you, to care for your life.  Even if you can’t take time out each day to pursue your dreams (say by engaging in a hobby or doing something you really love) you can take time to honor that part of yourself.  Notice and honor what you are feeling.  Upgrade your mindset.  Align your choices with what you really want rather than going with the flow.  Tending to dreams can be as short and simple as choosing to spend your lunch break on your terms or it can be elaborate.

5) Get Moving
Our bodies were meant to move.  The human body wasn’t built to sit in a chair all day tapping away on a keyboard or straining to have big fingers find little keys on a Blackberry.  You don’t necessarily have to “workout” to experience the benefits of moving.  Just get your body moving doing something you love.  If you do like the idea of 10 minutes of exercise, that is a way to go too.  It’s good for your mind, your health, and your energy. Not to mention movement can help you get unstuck no matter what the challenge.

6) Be Grateful
It’s easy to stay focused on what we don’t have or still want to achieve/acquire.  Yet we’ll always want something else.  A quick way to find meaning in your life is to be grateful for what is and the blessings you already have around you.  If you can’t think of one, start with the fact that you are able to draw breath and be here right now. You can write down three things you are thankful for each day as in this daily practice or get creative with ways to exercise your gratitude muscle.

7) Connect with Someone
I don’t mean poke them on Facebook, Tweet them on Twitter, or send them an email. I mean literally connect with someone you like or care about in real-time.  Call them out of the blue.  Stop by. Be with them.  Have you ever gotten an out of the blue call from someone you love?  Now how good did that make you feel?  Did it allow you to step back from your ledge of insanity?  Did it allow you to sink in and remember why you wander the planet in the first place?  Did you breathe a little deeper?  Smile wider? Perhaps laugh?  If these aren’t enough reasons to find meaning in your connection with others, I don’t know what is.  Remember that tomorrow is promised to no one, so connect as often as you can.

Relax
Life is terminal, so just relax a bit, will you? Stress can and will kill you, or at the very least kill your spirit.  So take the pressure off. Relax a bit.  If you’re not sure what that means, you might enjoy this funny look at “The True Meaning of Relaxation”.  While humorous some of the dictionary definitions of relaxation may spur you to just chill a bit.  Turn the intensity dial down a hair.  I know if can be hard, believe me I can be a person who runs at intensity dial 10, but remember you can’t drive all the time with the pedal to the metal.

9) Laugh Hard and Often
Laughter is just plain fun.  In fact it is a form of exercise from the inside out.  I know I used to laugh a ton when I worked in an office, if only at the absurdity of things that happened (Dilbert could be filed under nonfiction).  Now that I work from a home office I laugh a lot less.  Sure the cats or squirrels or birds offer a chuckle here and there but there’s a lot less of that full-blown hysterical laughter. I miss it.  Laughter is good for what ails you and can help you cope with everything from mild depression to the rigors of day to day living.  Not taking ourselves or life too seriously is paradoxically very important if you wish to mine the depths of deeper meaning in your world.

10) Embrace Mindfulness
Mindfulness is being aware of what we are doing and who we are being. Learning to be mindful is a life-long practice but can yield great benefits. If you’re not present with your experiences it’s almost impossible for them to be meaningful because you weren’t there at the party so to speak. Just by opening up to what is already in front of you can bring meaning flooding in (or perhaps the realization that changes are needed in your life so as to make it more aligned with who you are and what you want).

Not one of these 10 ways require that you take a huge chunk of time out of your busy schedule. In fact many of them can be practiced right in the flow of what you’re already doing.  So remember, life is short, don’t miss it.

Recently I was visiting one of my favorite coastal spots, Rehoboth Beach. I love to kayak in Rehoboth Bay and so early one Sunday we headed out to the put in shortly after sunrise. While it was sunny at the beach, by the time we reached the bay it was a thick sheet of fog. After debating for a bit whether we should still paddle or give it up, we decided that the fog was going to burn off very shortly so we launched our boats into the mist.

Visibility was very limited. We could see maybe 20-40 feet in front of us. We could hear motor boats roaring in the distance but knew that the tidal marsh area we would be paddling would be free of motor boats because of its very shallow waters. What transpired over the next several hours was truly magical.

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Last night I participated in the Doylestown Ride of Silence.  The ride was part of a global ride to honor those who have been injured or killed while cycling on public roadways.  While the ride itself started in 2003 to honor one fallen riding friend in Dallas, it has since spread across the globe with rides in cities worldwide.  The local Doylestown, PA ride was organized by my bike club, the Central Bucks Bicycle Club (CBBC) with the support of the local authorities who provided support and a police escort for the ride.

Besides being a ride to honor those who have died or been injured the ride is also an opportunity to bring awareness to the public and lawmakers about the real need for a safe way to share the road.  The ride is a short, slow-paced ride made in silence.  I would hazard a guess at several hundred people at my local event and there are thousands that participate worldwide.  Before the event started some personal stories were shared from those who have been involved in car/bike collisions and those who have lost loved ones in similar accidents.  The statistics that were shared are a bit jaw dropping and unfortunately I can’t remember any of them!  Other than to reiterate what I have learned in bike safety courses I have taken in the past and that is – a bicycle is a vehicle and has the same rights and responsibilities on the road as a motor vehicle and most accidents occur not because of blatant reckless driving but because of the little moments of inattention and lack of visibility.

As I rode in silence with some of my friends it truly was like all the other meditative practices I have engaged in.  A heightened awareness of the moment and of what IS.  A moment to feel deeply. I thought a great deal about a dear friend of mine from years ago, the one who got me inspired to take up cycling in the first place and her tragic accident with a vehicle that ended her competitive career and almost ended her life.  I thought about the incalculable number of times I’ve been on the road whether on two wheels or four when there was a close call.  Of course like all things this ride was a mirror of the bigger picture.  Even with hundreds of cyclists riding in silence with a police escort we still had an incident in front of me where a car made a wide turn directly into the group almost hitting someone.  There were still moments of unsafe cycling with someone swerving into someone else because of inexperience riding in a group or inattentiveness.  Motorists were still honking and screaming because they couldn’t wait an extra moment at an intersection.

It was fascinating to be able to just observe this in silence as it unfolded without any judgment or reaction.  Being an observer is a very powerful place from which to notice what is unfolding around you and inside your body and mind.

We all have moments of inattentiveness and accidents of course do happen.  Yet one thing that was driven home by the ride is that so often we are all in a hurry.  In a hurry to get to the next place and do the next thing.  While I am all about efficiency I am reminded time and time again that there really is no rush.  An extra moment here or there to be present and stay safe is far more valuable to everyone than an action made in haste.  Whether that is pausing an extra minute at an intersection to double-check before proceeding, simply chilling out while backed up at a light, or taking steps to minimize distractions while driving, it really does make a difference and may even save a life.