When someone says the “M” word (“money”), what sort of reaction do you have? If you’re like most people with a pulse that are drawing breath, you likely have some sort of charge about it. After all we have given money SO much power over us that when we think of it the emotions and thoughts can be overwhelming.

As I say the word money to you, what immediately pops into your head?

• Not enough, lack, scarcity
• Greed
• It rules my life and has me in its grips
• Money is bad, nonspiritual, dirty
• People with money are arrogant, greedy, mean, spoiled, lucky,
• I’m at the mercy of money (that’s why I’m stuck in this horrible job, marriage, relationship, neighborhood, etc.)
• Fear, intimidation, lack of knowledge
• Mounting debt

Now none of these reactions are inherently bad or good. They just are. Yet they likely dominate your relationship to money (which is often a reflection of your relationship to yourself) and more often than not, not in a productive way.

Read more of “Live Like You Don’t Need the Money”…

A week or so ago as I was sending speaking inquiries to different professional groups I received a quick response from one group that said “with budget cuts companies will only send people to conferences if they can prove they will come back with skills to help the bottom line”. It went on to say that what I offer seemed too much like self-development so they weren’t interested. It got me to thinking once again about how little we acknowledge the ROI of the things that truly matter.

I’m certainly not against skills training. Believe me if I get seriously ill and need surgery I want a highly skilled surgeon. That being said I also want one who is a whole human being who can relate to me as a person. As a technology professional for many years I also know the value of skills. Yet at the end of the day it is the person behind those skills that makes things succeed or fail. Otherwise, the world would just be filled with machines like in the movie I, Robot taking care of business efficiently, cheaply, and by rote.

Those of us who have experienced a quantum shift or even a significant change that came slowly over time innately KNOW there is no dollar figure you could even put on the ROI and the impact it has had on our lives. I just came back from a four day Radical Aliveness Retreat with Dr. Susan Rangitsch. During a powerful process I was able to lay down a huge limiting belief I have carried with me my entire life. It has limited my potential, the richness of my relationships, and in some ways the fullness of my life. So does that mean it was worth the $650 I paid for the retreat? Now is that a ridiculous question or what?! Yet there is some short-sighted bean counter out there that would ask that question and try to fit it into a formula. DUH. Let me tell you that whether you believe coincidences are divinely perfect or a load of crap, I received business inquiries while I was gone that I could have never masterminded on my own worth multiple times the cost of the retreat. Does that count as ROI?

Therein lies the problem… often we don’t look at the true value of the money energy we let flow into and out of our lives. Sometimes it is not as easy as A+B/C but rather exponential.

Take this acknowledgment of the power of personal growth from Leslie’s Pro Sem Blog:

The one weakness I definitely DO NOT possess is: “May explode with terrible tempers when under extreme stress” –I absolutely never do that. I used to be more volatile, but I’ve done so much mindfulness meditation that I have good control of my emotions. Those weeks spent shivering in a cold, dark cell in a Buddhist monastery contemplating of my emotions and desires have yielded me more ROI than probably anything else I’ve done in my life.

Now work back in the equation…do you think she went to a monastery contemplating ROI? I don’t know her, but I doubt it. Yet so many women try to rationalize why they cannot afford the very thing that would make the biggest difference in their life.

Delores Williams makes an interesting point in “I’m increasing my net worth with Twitter”:

Here’s the thing, they are all DOING something, and not just waiting for an armored truck full of cash to fall out of the sky. It seems to me that Donald Trump is right, that you can’t be the smartest person in the room, you have to have someone who is playing on a different level.

So, how do you think you get to play on a different level? With a Dummies Book and skills training? No, let’s try cultivating confidence, courage, taking risks, and showing up fully in your life.

Sometimes the very thing you need to create results is the most unlikely path. Whether that is spending time at a monastery, attending a retreat, taking an art class, or finding a coach, I’m here to tell you it can be the best investment you ever make.

If you are numbers oriented and need more facts and figures to feel good about self-development, check out this article full of “ROI Myth-Busting”. Working on who you are along with what you do yields far more results than a laundry list of skills training. Don’t you think the person who shows up in their professional life feeling full and great because they nourished their creativity the night before makes a better co-worker and performs better than someone who stayed up all night checking work related emails? The latter might feel more productive but it is akin to the buzzed person behind the wheel of a car who feels sharper.

So in this day where traditional investment opportunities are bleak: real estate declining, stocks acting bipolar, and interest bearing accounts yielding ridiculously low rates, doesn’t it make sense to invest in the one commodity that will yield results ongoing – YOU?

What does money mean to you? Whether you are in a relationship or not, you are in a relationship with your money whether you spend a lot of time consciously thinking about it or not. Even if finances are the neglected step-child in your personal life, it is still there and your mindset and relationship to it is running the show.

Several years ago I asked colleague and Savvy Ladies Founder Stacy Francis what is one financial book she really likes that she would recommend I read. She suggested I read “Smart Women Finish Rich” by David Bach. I must admit that I let this one sit on my shelf for a year or two before I recently dusted it off. It has been my “morning read” book with breakfast the past few weeks. In the book Bach starts with the most important question you can ask yourself : What is Important About Money to You? He then uses this question to guide the reader through the Values Ladder exercise which is taken from the book “Values Based Financial Planning” by Bill Bacharach.

Lucky for me this conversation is not new. When I hired my most recent financial planner several years ago the first thing we did when I met her was to march through the values ladder exercise in Bacharach’s book. For me it was the first time I ever thought about money in this way. No surprise that it coincided with my foray into the coaching profession. It was like the world was conspiring to get me aligned with my own values first before I launched into helping others.

The values ladder is a brilliant coaching tool that asks the question “what is important about money to me?”. The key to getting at the heart of the matter is that your answers need to be values based, not goals based. That means your answers look something like “security”, “freedom”, “adventure”, “confidence”, “peace of mind”, etc. Those are values based answers. As opposed to goals based answers like “pay off my credit card debt”, “buy a new home”, or “save $X for retirement”. Now goals are important, but I can assure you that if you put the cart (goals) before the horse (values) you are building your financial future on unstable ground. Orienting your life around goals is unfulfilling and uninspiring. Orienting your life around your values leads to a sustainable pull forward toward your goals while living more fully right here, right now.

So, back to the example… I would answer the question “what is important about money to me?” with “security – peace of mind”. That’s great, but it doesn’t dig deep enough. As a coach I know the real good stuff, the answers with the power to radically shift our relationship with money often lie deeper than the first answer or two. As a result, this exercise keeps asking the question – “what is important about?”. So in this case the next question would be – “what is important about security-peace of mind?” I might answer “freedom with no constraints”. Again, a great values based answer but there is more to it. So you keep asking the question “what is important about…” until you have reached your final answer – the one that can’t be mined any further. In my exercise I ended up with “self-actualization” and “living fully”. In some of the exercises in the book people ended with “making a difference/helping others” or “living fully with my family right now”. The end point looks different to everyone.

The point of this exercise is to get clear on what is really important to you about money. Then armed with this knowledge you can delive into the more goal-oriented and action plan oriented steps of financial planning. More importantly, you can take a hard look at what is important to you about money and whether or not your current life is aligned with what is most important. For instance, if “being with family and friends” is your most important value and you’re spending 80 hours a week commuting and working your life is not congruent with what really matters. That can come as a shock and leave you feeling powerful emotions.

Part of the reason why people avoid these types of exercises and want to launch right to the how-tos is because of how scary and painful it can be to discover that your life is out of whack. Yet awareness is the first step toward a more inspiring future, so why not wake up today rather than years down the road or when you find yourself face to face with illness or death?

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