Last week I finally had the chance to watch the Louise Hay DVD “You Can Heal Your Life”. Quite a powerful movie. I’ve been a fan of Hay House for a while and a few years ago read and starting using Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life”.

I have to say that it is one of the BEST movies I have seen. It truly incorporates the real meat of the law of attraction and positive thinking in a way that doesn’t add fluff or skim over the inevitable negative feelings we all experience and obstacles we encounter. While I enjoyed the movie The Secret if only because it got the conversation started on a big scale, it was way too materialistic focused for me. And, it didn’t go deep enough. So many people are out their either frustrated because it isn’t working for them or out there playing games simply to acquire more stuff or snag a parking space. They are missing the boat.

In this film you not only learn about Louise Hay’s amazing life including her documentary based on her work with tons of gay men during the AIDS crisis but also hear from a number of my favorite folks and leading experts like Greg Braden, Cheryl Richardson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Mona Lisa Schultz, Esther Hicks, and more. Real advice from real people who walk their talk.

I was most excited to hear Louise say that the affirmations are only the start. It isn’t about saying happy things and putting ice cream on poop like Debbie Ford says. It is about starting the real work on the inside while you reframe your thinking to a more positive, empowering, and creation based mindset. It is about shifting how you are feeling inside which is what really allows you to fully experience your life and tap into the power of attraction. No matter what we do create our own experience of this life.

You can check out the trailer here:

Buy the DVD:

I think the actress who played the character on her own journey that is interspersed throughout the experts was great. Who could not relate to her being miffed at the universe for not listening when she said “I’m just going to sit here. So there.”?

As you know it is not often that I flat out recommend something. When I do it is because I totally believe in the product/service and the people behind it. That is why I want to tell you about this great book from a fellow Integrative Coach colleague of mine Carolyn Ellis. This woman is amazing in general and now she’s got a “must-have” book for single parents. Here’s the official word and details…

It’s an award-winning, best-selling book called “The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive after Divorce” written by my friend and coaching colleague, Carolyn B. Ellis. The co-founder of Divorce Magazine calls it “A resource that no single parent should be without!” If you’re in that situation yourself, or know someone who is, you should check it out. Right now, there is a special offer available for anyone purchasing the book to receive over $5,300 in bonus gifts, all for an investment of $16.95. Plus, a portion of all book sales will go towards building a school house in rural Uganda. Many people find it makes a great holiday gift for those who could use it or as client appreciation gifts, as well as for their own use. The special bonus offer is available for a limited time. To learn more, just visit http://thriveafterdivorce.com/booklaunch.html

That being said — you might say – “but how does that apply to me if I just split up from my same-sex partner?” Alas, the book is about parenting and good parenting just IS regardless of whether there is a Mom & Dad, two Mom’s, two Dad’s, a single Mom, or a single Dad. It is about creating a rich relationship with your children and helping them to thrive.

I think this is sooo important and since I have ZERO experience in parenting with the exception of my 2 cats (and somehow I think that is WAY different) that I am going to do an interview with Carolyn to provide you even more information and resources. Stay tuned for that.

I have the great privilege of announcing the launch of a new book of which I am a co-author. The book is titled “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 3,” and it is a compilation of 101 articles with practical, solid advice on how you can finally take action and improve your life.

My involvement has been in the works for months now and I’m thrilled to finally say “It’s HERE….”. I am extremely excited to be a part of this, and am equally excited to be a contributing author along with Ken Blanchard, Les Brown, Mark Victor Hansen, Byron Katie and many other leading Self Improvement experts.

To get more information, go to: this website.

This book was created by David Riklan, the president and founder of the #1 Self Improvement website in the world, SelfGrowth.com. He tapped into the minds of the greatest experts of our time and pulled together something that is the perfect addition to your library.

I personally find this book ideal when you need short bursts of inspiration. In just 5-10 minutes you can read an article or two that will leave you feeling inspired.

Here’s the link for you to go directly to his offer:
http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=1803359

I encourage you to check it out — it makes the perfect gift for friends and business associates too.

Everyone has their favorite gift recommendations, and it’s time for me to share my favorites with you, the successful lesbian business owner and professional. I’m all about doing the self-growth work necessary to achieve your dreams, but I also know the value of fun and R&R. As a result, my list is a mix of both those items that will help propel you forward to greater success in 2007 and those that will make fun a part of your regular vocabulary.

Enjoy!

1) Something from Wolfe Video

These ladies started this company before LGBT became an economic purchasing power that was recognized by the world at large. And, they continue to bring us the best of LGBT movies and entertainment at competitive prices. I know I wouldn’t buy my DVD’s anywhere else. You know you need some R&R time to either crash on the couch or snuggle with a sweetie. Give yourself the gift of something great to watch while you’re doing it and hop over to Wolfe Video

2) Eight Principles of Fun

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Fun is a crucial aspect of it. A Canadian coach by the name of Michael Bungay Stanier created these products to help you tap into more fun in your life. I have my little deck of cards at my deck to remind me that none of this “work stuff” is life or death.

3) “Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford

While this book has been out a long time, it is still my #1 favorite book for personal transformation. It is the book that started it all for me in terms of personal growth and most certainly my decision to become and evolution as a coach (I am one of a select group of coaches that offer Debbie’s transformational one on one coaching). Read the book and do the exercises and people will thank you…your life will instantly become richer and your relationships (starting with yourself) will radically improve.

4) “The Secret” DVD

The movie “The Secret” is guaranteed to inspire you and leave you more in control of what you create in your life. You create your own reality and the sky really is the limit. This movie will show you how.

5) Take a Vacation

To me R&R isn’t optional, it is mandatory. And, regular travel really fuels my soul. Some of my favorite travel ideas include:

Olivia Vacations
National Parks
Rehoboth Beach
Provincetown

and my favorite lesbian owned lodging:

Mt Peale
Highlands Inn

6) Pamper Yourself

I live and die by my Soap Fairy soaps. Gay owned and operated, these handcrafted, all natural soap and bath products are the way to go. You can order online at http://www.soapfairy.com/ or visit them in Lewes, Delaware.

I’m also a huge advocate of extreme self-care. Cheryl Richardson is a coach that I admire greatly both as a model for the profession but as a writer as well. Her store myExtremeSelfCare.com offers some of my favorite books for sale as well as the fabulous OGG (you have to see it to love it) and other self and soul nourishing products that are perfect for anyone.

7) Curve Magazine

I have subscribed to this lesbian magazine since the moment I first discovered it (at the time it was still called Deneuve). A nice variety of columnists and articles to suit many tastes, it is always great to read and hell the photos alone can be worth it in some issues. (Although I do firmly believe they need a life and business coach as a regular columnists…and I’d jump at that chance anyday!)

Brew a cup of tea, sit back, relax, and read a little lesbian life each month.

Wishing you a Happy Holiday!!

I have to admit that I know nothing about being a Mom (other than being one to my two cats but somehow I think that is different…) and I’m not even particularly good with kids. The closest I’ve come to having an attachment to little people is the bond my partner and I have formed with our neighbor’s very cool 10 year old son. While he definitely hits it off with my partner Kim best (she’s a dog and kid magnet) he actually speaks to me and I think actually likes me on some level. He shows up on my birthday with homemade cards and hugs. Can’t beat that! It is a totally new experience for me. We love to spoil him, enjoy his company, and then when we’re kid-ed out, send him home. However, I know many of you out there are Moms and raising kids (or attempting to conceive kids). Some of you have a partner to share the journey with and others are going it solo. For you I give you a round of cheers and want to point you to a resources I recently learned about.

Today, Queercents ran an interview with Dana Rudolph (the founder and voice behind Mombian) as part of their Ten Money Questions series. After reading the article and checking out the Mombian site, I was compelled to point you toward this resource. Why?

Well, I wholeheartedly believe that we all need the right support at the right time to live fulfilling and successful lives. For Moms, especially stay at home Moms, support from like minded adults can mean the difference between thriving and having their brains turn to mush. I can imagine the transition from career or academic achiever to lesbian Mom home staying home and singing Barney tunes is a tremendous adjustment. You owe it to yourself and your kids to not only take great care of yourself but also to connect with and learn from other talented and intelligent lesbians.

One small way you can do that is to check out the resources and engage in the conversation over at Mombiam.

In September, Adventure Out Women launched its online presence aimed at providing a networking portal for the professional woman who surrounds herself with pride 365 days a year. Behind the scenes of this new portal are two women, Dawn Dudgeon and Belinda Ramirez who saw a need for a space where likeminded professional women can connect.

I have the distinct honor of being a contributor to their portal and I recently asked Belinda and Dawn to share a bit about the site and themselves.

What has been your biggest challenge being out in your business
life/career?

I can honestly say that looking back; I believe there were times when my patience was challenged. I have never been the kind of person to hide things or lie about who I am. What you see is what you get, the good, bad and the ugly. I have been out since I was very young. I never made excuses about who I am or tried to justify my actions. You are who you are, period. Life is not that complicated, people sometimes can make things much more difficult than they have to be. Not intentionally but we are all human and have good and bad days.

What is your long-term vision for Adventureoutwomen – what do you
most want to have happen as the impact of your work?

I believe that we have developed a very unique vehicle of communication for women to share information and provide professional services, but that is just a very small part of what AOW is. Anyone who knows Dawn and I would agree that being healthy inside and out is very important to us. We believe that your mind and body are a big part of who you are. Taking care of it and carefully feeding it can change how you are and what you feel.

To us learning is very important, we are always in some sort of class or seminar and thrive on learning new things and meeting new people. In developing this portal, Dawn and I brainstormed and wrote down all things we wanted AOW to stand for. We took a pad and pen and wrote down all the good things we liked about portals we used frequently. We were able to develop a business model that adopted some of Craig’s list and put a spin on it by writing about the things that interest us and our community and by offering other activities and events that would allow women to exercise their minds as well as their bodies.

Our dream and hope is to have Adventure out Women be the Craig’s list for the lesbian community. Craig’s list is a no frills, very functional web site. One can get information without all the banner ads, and annoying marketing ads to distract you.

With AOW you can network by marketing professional services, posting events and joining us on our outdoor group workout activities.

What is the #1 piece of advice you would give any woman wanting to
be successful in business?

Number 1 is being honest, bottom line. Do what you say, and say what you mean. Understand that success is the intersection of hard work and opportunity. Opportunities sometimes present themselves, be sure to be ready to take them and understand that it is up to you to find new avenues for opportunities. Never give up on your dream and when people give you constructive criticism, take it for what it is worth and use it to your benefit. Also understand that in our small and growing community there are many wonderful people out there who will help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and make sure you return the favor. In the end it is all about networking and making mutually beneficial relationships.

Networking and learning the ins and outs of being a professional
woman can be overwhelming. What’s a simple way for a woman to get
started connecting with other successful women?

This is right up our alley! Well first of all surround yourself with others who you aspire to be like. Dawn and I have some friends we admire who are respected in our community. They started a gay yellow pages in Sacramento called Valley Rainbow Page 9 years ago and are very successful, honest and hard working men. For us we do not limit our circle to professional lesbian women.

AOW is all about networking and sharing information of interest with the lesbian community. But we do work with some professional men who target our audience and have some very good advice and services to offer. We often ask them for their opinion.

What brings you the most joy personally or professionally?

I can honestly say that success brings me the most joy both personally and professionally. For me the meaning of success is not being famous or having a lot of money, neither of those applies to me. Success to me is being content with your life. I can say that I am very satisfied with who I am today. With the circle of friends I surround myself with, with the things I have and most importantly with my relationship with Dawn.

Be sure to check out Adventure Out Women as it grows as new content is added regularly. If you want to reach Dawn or Belinda you can email them at dawn@adventureoutwomen.com and belinda@adventureoutwomen.com respectively.

That is the question a dear colleague of mine, Souldancer, asks in his just release book Pay Me What I’m Worth.

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Souldancer late in 2005 and working with him one on one earlier this year. If you want someone who thinks outside the box, that’s not Souldancer; just thinking outside the box is too small for this man, he gets rid of the box entirely to open you up to new possibilities in a practical, yet spiritually bent way.

I believe there isn’t a soul alive who doesn’t want to be paid what they are worth and then some. We are all intrinsically worth more than you can fathom. Even from a real world sense of money, we all have unique talents that are worth a lot. And, it is up to you to do the work to get paid what you’re worth. No one is going to show up like a knight in shining armour and hand you money (unless you win the publisher’s clearinghouse and Ed McMahon shows up but even then your core problems aren’t the least bit solved). It takes more than just earning degrees, accolades, and letters after your name. We all know numerous well-decorated and supposedly well educated folks that can’t find their way out of a paper bag and don’t deserve some big salary they somehow commanded. It takes the inner work of learning about yourself, what you’ve already earned, how to truly give with ease, how to ask for what you want, and the all important learning to open yourself so you can receive what is offered to you.

Wondering how I know so much about the book when it was released just days ago? Well, my name is actually IN the book. Why? Because I had the pleasure of putting my editing skills to work in the early draft stages. I can vouch that the material is sound, the exercises are robust, and the chance to finally learn the secrets of getting paid what you’re worth are waiting for you.

(I also must throw in my $.02 that I just love the snappy cover design.)

To buy the book, click on the image above or visit http://lulu.com/payme

If you’re dying for an autographed copy, you can purchase one directly from Souldancer at http://souldancer.org/pages/pmauto.html

Do you feel you are already paid what you’re worth? What do you think about getting paid what you’re worth? Post your thoughts in the comments… AND, if you’re interested in not only reading the book but working with a supportive study group, let me know in the comments below or via e-mail. Souldancer is starting up study groups and I may choose to lead one in the future.

Last night I had the huge pleasure of attending a book signing and reading for Alison Bechdel’s book Fun Home. For those of you unfamiliar with her work, Alison is the author of the superb comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For . The comic strip has been a favorite of mine for years and it beautifully chronicles the personal and political trials and tribulations of a core group of lesbians. It is funny; it is poignant, and frighteningly true to life (especially the political details). Fun Home is her first venture into the autobiographical graphic novel genre and it has been getting rave reviews from not only the gay press but also the big league of reviewers (New York Times Book Review, Entertainment Weekly, Time Magazine to name a few).

The event was held at the Free Library of Philadelphia as part of their author series. I’d never been to the library and it is an old, beautiful, and cavernous building near the art museum. What I liked most about the crowd that attended was the wide diversity of people which just proves that quality writing and art can be equally compelling to women and men across a wide demographic spectrum. (I just looked at that last phrase “wide demographic spectrum” and realized that an evening of listening to Alison’s well crafted story with impressive vocabulary has just trickled into my stream of consciousness.)

The jam packed hour was filled with Alison reading from her book while displaying a slide show of the corresponding graphic frames. In between the two chapters she read, she took time to give us a peek behind the scenes and into her creative process for drawing. It is more than clear that she is a serious artist who works her ass off conceptualizing, researching, designing, and actually drawing the frames. I couldn’t recount all the steps if you put a gun to my head. As a writer, I certainly understand my creative process and the sometimes painstaking process of editing and getting the message “just so”. However, since my drawing abilities are limited to stick people (and pretty ugly stick people at that) and tracing Garfield and Ziggy cartoons as a kid, it always blows me away to learn about the different methods artists adopt to create their signature work. Alison commented last night that she doesn’t consider herself a natural artist. She just works very hard at drawing. Well, I don’t know what you’d define “natural” as, but she most certainly is authentic, original, and produces top notch drawings that convey many layers of a message simultaneously. After listening and watching Alison last night describe just one frame from her new novel, I had the same reaction as when I first watched a fine winemaker walk me through the process of his hand crafted wines and champagnes — “my god this stuff should sell for $100 each at a minimum for all that talent and effort!”.

(You can catch a snippet of one stage of the creative process via video on her blog here ) .

The evening wrapped up with a nice stretch of Q&A from the audience. I just love when intelligent women fill a room and get free reign with a Q&A. The questions were thought-provoking and compelling. As a whole the audience expressed a lot of gratitude and reverence while cheering on the success of one of our own. What I love most about the recent mainstream media attention to Fun Home is that it is not a prefabricated “gay news event” but a literary story about a substantive graphic novel by an author who happens to be a lesbian and whose autobiography explores the gay themes inherent in her family (her father was also gay).

To me the lessons I took away from getting to see Alison in person as well as my years of reading her work are:

• Be authentic
• Follow your creative muse because you must
• Speak your truth because silence really does equal death
• Trust in the process, methods, and mediums that work for you

I haven’t gotten to read the book yet (after all I just bought it last night so she could sign it), but intend to sink my teeth into it starting this weekend. I’ll share what pops up for me after I finish it. I also hope to publish a photo from last night here, but first want to get permission from her…so stay tuned.

You can check out her upcoming tour dates here. If you can’t make it to a signing, or you missed her visit to a city near you, she has chronicled her tour thus far on her blog in a down to earth, authentic, behind-the-scenes way.

And, by all means…buy the book and experience it for yourself!

While I rarely wax political in this space, I want to draw your attention to a series of radio interviews called “Same-Sex Marriage: Who Cares!?” The reason this is relevant to the personal and business topics I write about is because without equal rights under the law lesbians are at a disadvantage and have to overcome additional hurdles to success. (Of course, we don’t let any of these obstacles deter us because we’re powerful and persevering women!)

You can check out the PR about the series here.

This series is spearheaded by one of my colleagues Souldancer who is just a fabulous guy doing great work in the world. A great lineup is planned featuring impressive women like Del Martin & Phyllis Lyon, M.V. Lee Badgett, and Colonel Cammermeyer to name a few. The complete lineup can be perused at the program guide. He is still looking for some guests to fill in a few of these blanks in the schedule:

• A constitutional scholar to speak to historical efforts regarding amendments driven by a particular interest group
• A state level expert to speak to what they believe states in general have to LOSE by a federal law that permits same-sex marriage.
• A national organizational level expert of a religious denominations to speak to what they believe their denomination (or similar groups) have to LOSE by a federal law that permits same-sex marriage.
• A nationally visible lesbian family to share their thoughts on how a law that permits or denies same-sex marriage impacts their family.
• A nationally visible our person to share their thoughts on how a law that permits or denies same-sex marriage impacts their workplace.
• A nationally visible South African or Australian gay or lesbian to share their thoughts on what they’ve experienced as their country struggles with this issue.
• Nationally visible gay and lesbian nonprofit executives to share their thoughts on how large non-profits shape US society in general and the impact they may the proposed constitutional amendment to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples.

If you or someone you know is interested, you can contact Souldancer directly at info@souldancer.org or drop me an email and I’ll put you in touch.

Please visit “New Voices” which is hosting this series and tune in for Same-Sex Marriage: Who Cares!?.

I can’t tell you how excited I was to finally find a blog out there that deals with the topic of finances from a lesbian point of view. Finances are one key part of everyone’s life (remember the life wheel?) and basically “Money Makes the World Go ‘Round” in many ways.

Queercents is a blog written by Dawn, Caitlin, and Nina. Their tagline “We’re here, we’re queer, and we’re not going shopping without coupons” is catchy and a great lead in to their articles on finances, frugality, and how it all relates to us as lesbians. Because we can’t marry our partners the financial maze is even more complex and fraught with gotcha’s than our straight counterparts. That’s just ripe for added stress, especially in our relationships (where money is always a hotbed of power, emotion, and potential conflict).

These ladies have a very accessible and personal writing style. And hurrah to a bunch of folks willing to come out from behind that pseudonym mask to talk about the real issues! I, for one, can’t wait to read more of what they have to say as it has quickly become one of my favorite blogs to read.