This year I am once again part of the BlogHer DonorsChoose school project challenge.  In fact this year instead of just choosing one project to support, I had the pleasure of choosing several in the Greater Philadelphia Area.   How it works is DonorsChoose features different educational related projects in need of funding for high-risk schools.  It is a way for people to contribute (charitable deduction and all) to help out kids who and encourage learning in new ways.  What I like about it most is that some of the projects are really innovative and my take is that it will really open possibilities to kids who otherwise wouldn’t have that chance.  Knowledge is power. Confidence is power.

I chose three projects and so far one is completely funded (yahoo!) and that is the one that was a guitar lessons project (close to my heart).  The other two are still in need of funds, though – so I would encourage you to head over to the Philadelphia BlogHer page and give what you can.  Any amount helps and if a lot of us pitch in, we’ve made a difference in a number of children and teacher’s lives.

This week’s inspiring images are of course brought to you courtesy of my fun-time in Chicago following the BlogHer ’09 conference. I had never really toured Chicago before but it is truly a beautiful city. Perhaps it is the river flowing through its core that evokes feelings of Paris and the Seine, but whatever it is, I liked it.

Here’s a picture I snapped while Kayaking on the Chicago River. Amazing to be beneath all the skyscrapers in a kayak.

Late one evening we went to the 96th floor of the John Hancock Building to have drinks in the Signature Lounge. Needless to say the views were gorgeous and the drinks were decent too. Hard to take a good shot up there between the reflections and lack of tripod, but I did get a few. Here is one I particularly like.

Traveling always reminds me to just seize the day and enjoy… If you’ve been putting off having a little fun, these photos are a reminder to get that on the schedule asap.

Oh we all know how I can go wild on this topic…  For that I will send you to my full take on the matter and my BlogHer post. Yet as I was researching the post I came across a great post by im.seeking.balance that was not only very thoughtful  but shared one very important point missed in almost every other article on the topic. That is:

Why we define ourselves by how much money we make and how many people work under us is beyond me. Perhaps it’s peoples’ lack of self-worth that drives them towards needing the approval of others. Perhaps it’s because people are just greedy… but maybe, just maybe, it comes from millions of people looking for the love and approval they should have gotten from their parents but didn’t because they were too busy working.

It’s this defining ourselves by our jobs or money that drives people to jump off buildings when their company closes.  I read an article in New York Magazine shortly after the Lehman Brothers collapse that truly made me scratch my head. It was essentially about employees who couldn’t handle the demise of their careers and sudden plummeting salaries. It was as if the world ended, and for them it did.  This is the biggest risk of all when it comes to the sole-focus pursuit of the corner office.

What happens if you don’t succeed?  Or, what happens if you do?  Either way, how much do you like the person you see in the mirror?  Do you know who she is?  If it all ended today, would you know that you lived a well-lived life that honored your most cherished values?

Those are the REAL questions at stake in this discussion.  What is your experience?  What are your thoughts on Welch’s comments and work-life balance?

I swore I wasn’t going to watch the Michael Jackson memorial on television today.  Firstly because I very rarely watch television at all and usually shun the general media circus surrounding pop culture.  Secondly because while I was a Michael Jackson fan growing up, I never really gave his music much thought for the last decade or two.  Yet, since his death last week I did indulge briefly in watching some of the video retrospectives and found myself intrigued by this larger than life figure who clearly held the weight of the world’s worst judgment and extreme adoration.  So, I turned the memorial on in the background of my office and found myself surprisingly moved by the whole affair.  What could’ve just been more excess and nonsense in the already comical media coverage (I mean it has been laid on a little thick, don’t you think? Doesn’t anyone have their own lives to live?)… was in fact a touching tribute.

So, whether you loved him, hated him, or fell somewhere in between, there is always a lesson to be learned in each person’s passing.  Here’s what I see as the top 7 things we can learn from Michael Jackson’s death.

1) Love the People You Love While They are Here

This lesson pretty much sums up any person’s funeral.  Yet in this case what stands out to me is how much outpouring of love and kind words there were for this very unique person standing in stark contrast to most of what had been the focus of the last decade or more of his life.  All I can remember from way back are all the negative media, judgments, accusations, and drama surrounding him.  Today there was none of that, only a celebration of the unique gifts and talents he brought to the world.  Imagine what would be possible if you just loved the people you loved for who they are right here, right now?  It’s worth the effort because as we all know (but like to not think about), our time here on the earth is short.

2) Look for What is Right, Not What is Wrong

Building on what I’ve already said, imagine what could have been different for Michael Jackson’s life if the focus and intense media scrutiny over the years was on what was right and not on all the negative stuff?  I’m not saying to live life by sweeping what things under the rug or turning a blind eye if/when someone does something wrong or inappropriate, but it doesn’t have to be all-consuming and then become the veil through which we view someone.  People are more than they appear to be.  Most people, unless they are pathological have such divine, unique, and wonderful gifts to offer the world.  Why can’t we shine the light on that and allow it to expand?

3) You Can Never Really Know What Another Person is Experiencing

Of course I don’t know Michael Jackson one bit, yet people seem so quick to project what they think onto someone else.  No one except for a few close friends can ever really know what this musical and dancing genius with a big heart went through.  From what little I watched or heard it seems like he lived a very deeply troubled and painful inner life.  He also had a child-like wonder, sometimes too immature for his own good in part because he never had the opportunity to have a childhood.  Whether famous or the friend next door, never assume that you can truly ever know what someone else’s experience is like.  Treat them with compassion anyway.

4) Embrace Diversity

There is no denying that Michael Jackson was eccentric, most one-of-a-kind people are in their own way.  He welcomed other people and their differences with open arms.  He knew there was more to the world than just the United States because he traveled and lived beyond our borders.  As a country we often forget that the world does not revolve around us (no matter what George W. may have said).  Celebrate the diversity within yourself and others.  Lissa at Owning Pink had a great post on “Letting Your Freak Flag Fly” and I added to that conversation via a Twitter discussion. The message?  Be your authentic self and allow others to do the same.

5) Allow Spirit to Move You

Music powerfully stirs the soul. When you allow spirit to move through you the world is a better place and Jackson did just that.  In fact Aricia at Dynamic Family Coaching Solutions wrote more about Spirit and how Jackson’s ability to allow spirit to work through him bestowed such gifts on the world.  Allow spirit to inform your actions and allow beauty and people around you to move you.  You will not only find that it better aligns who you really are with how you show up in the world but it is guaranteed to exponentially increase the meaning in your life.

6) Walk with Compassion in Your Heart

No doubt we all go through turbulent and difficult times. It is part of the human experience.  It seems that for Michael Jackson the intense highs were coupled with very low, lows in his life.  Yet he always seemed to walk with compassion in his heart and publicly spoke of the good in other people even as detractor’s threw stones his way.  He reached out to those in need (perhaps to the point of a lack of self-regard given his financial predicament).  He empathized with others in pain.  His legacy transcends music which was clearly evident as he was honored as a humanitarian figure during his service.

7) Enjoy Today with Childlike Wonder

Tomorrow is promised to no one.  Unfortunately we all seem to lose the ability to tap into the childlike wonder within us because of the day-to-day grind and responsibilities of adulthood.  While Jackson clearly displayed sgns of a person whose childhood and emotional development were halted, the essence of the joy and wonder he exuded does hold a lesson for all of us.  It really does pay to adopt a beginner’s mind and allow the child within you to come out to play once and a while.  Fun and lightness are part of the journey, don’t shut them out in favor of more “important” stuff.

Like everything else the hoopla and hype surrounding Michael Jackson’s life and death will die down sooner or later but his music and legacy will live on.  Yet, if we could all pause in silence for just a moment and breathe in some of these lessons, we can start to live richer lives of our own right here, right now.

Debbie Ford’s new movie The Shadow Effect was released on June 26th and I am currently hosting numerous Shadow Salons to show the movie and facilitate discussion. I am blessed to have this opportunity since I am one of the Certified Integrative Coaches trained by Debbie and her brilliant staff at The Ford Institute. I hosted my first gathering last Thursday at my home for a few close friends. Here are a few photos from the evening…

Our beautiful table arranged with goodies for our guests.

Me and my partner Kim hosting the event (you can tell who has more fashion sense coordinated with the evening theme, right?)

It was an excellent evening and I cannot wait to do more gatherings both small and intimate and a little larger. You can check out the list of salons I am hosting that are open to the public at my events page.

You can check out the movie trailer and find salons in other parts of the US and the globe at The Shadow Effect website.

If you would love to host a salon and are in the Greater Philadelphia/NJ area, contact me and we can chat.

Just wanted to let you know that there is a most wonderful interview with me over at my colleague & friend, Lisa Beth Weber’s blog Freelance Picnic. She called the piece “From Corporate to Comfort” and it is an interesting play on my journey from being in Corporate America for 17+ years to going solo and creating Comfortable in Your Own Skin Coaching.

Here’s a brief snippet from the conversation:

I asked Paula about the philosophy behind being comfortable in your own skin. “If you’re listening only to your head or only to your heart, you’re potentially missing both. My coaching style, whether it’s life, or business, or both, is that you have to have the right relationship with yourself, so you can build your life plan, so you can build your business plan, in order to bring about what success means to you.”

Head on over to read the full article From Corporate to Comfort.

When you’re done reading, check out Lisa Beth’s main website to see ALL the great stuff she is up to … writer, musician, creative professional extraordinaire.

We hear the phrase all the time “climbing the corporate ladder”. Or, “getting to the next step on the career ladder”. Almost every metaphor I can think of includes climbing and a ladder. Now, there’s nothing wrong about building an outstanding career if you really want one, it’s just that you need to make sure your ladder is leaning up against the right wall and that vertical is the direction you wish to go. In addition, it is crucial that you get to enjoy the journey because that is truly all we ever have.

I was speaking with a client the other day and she said “I am done with climbing the corporate ladder, I’ve been there and done that”. Now that statement isn’t all that groundbreaking necessarily, but when she shared it with me I was struck with a powerful image of someone teetering on a ladder.

Think about a ladder. Usually long, slender, a little unstable, and certainly demands that you take conscious and careful steps. That image hit me really hard because I thought most people when using a ladder don’t want to spend a lot of time on it. If you are a roofer or builder perhaps you are comfortable being on a ladder for hours at a time but for the rest of us, it is a fleeting (and sometimes anxiety producing) affair. We don’t want to spend extended time on those little thin rungs that barely hold a small portion of our foot.

Yet, when it comes to the proverbial non-stop career climb, people can spend years, decades, and even a lifetime perched on those tiny steps attempting to avoid making “the wrong move”. There is a lot of fear, stress, hard work, and an almost mysterious fog in the air of unspoken “rules” about what you should or should not do while you’re perched on this ladder attempting to grab the next rung.

Now I realize that building a career involves hard work and that oftentimes it is the adversity and challenges in our lives that make us grow, evolve, and ultimately shine.  I’m not one to shy away from a challenge.  Yet I don’t think it has to feel like you are perilously perched on a ladder.  It can be engaging, challenging, and  sometimes even (gasp) fun (what heresy!). 

What is called for is a new way of being along the journey. One that serves who you are, aligns with your values, and serves your goals.  Something a little more cool to hang out on than a ladder.

When I look for a new metaphor I think of things like hiking a trail, running a river, painting on an empty canvas, or cooking a special meal.  To me these all have the same element of challenge, a goal, self-discovery, self-development, and accomplishment but come with a more palpable way of showing up in the process.  So, if you were to radically invent a new, more pleasing metaphor for your career, what would it be?

Photo Credit: stock.xchng

Last weekend was a burst of summer like weather in PA. That brought all the birds out in full force to our feeders and birdbath. At one point there was a line for the birdbath. I am not kidding you. Birds were lined up on the fence watching and waiting as another bird bathed with unbridled rapture. I do not over-exaggerate here. As I watched these birds flap their wings around in the water and dip their heads into the splash I could feel their joy. Perhaps I am projecting a bit but it felt like an immersion of joy and total reckless abandon as I watched them. I thought how cool is this?

I found it worth noting how great I felt as I watched them (and their obvious enjoyment). I was reminded about how the real daily joys really are in the little things if we only take a moment to stop, look, listen, and notice. I also thought about how much fun it’d be to just let go totally myself and have that kind of crazy joy the birds seemed to be experiencing. So often as professional women we forget that we need a little of that reckless abandon and letting loose as well.

If you think you can’t stop and enjoy little daily joys like watching these birds because maybe you live in the city, are stuck in a cubicle all day, or are too busy with the serious business of running a business to take the time…I am here to challenge you to ask “Is that really so?”

Perhaps you won’t get much nature at your disposal while in a brain-death-causing cubicle, but you can enjoy the smile of a co-worker you enjoy. Relish a walk around the building outside on a glorious day. Take 10 minutes to have coffee with a fellow employee you admire or would like to get to know. There can be great joy in being fully present with a client and simply enjoying the opportunity to serve them. If you find your clients draining you dry, perhaps you need a little work aligning your business with more ideal clients, but even that can be a fun process if you allow it to be.

So, I leave you with the vision of these birds gloriously doing their thing and the question – How can you bask in the joy that is around you today?

Photo Credit: Flickr

Anyone who knows me knows I am a huge fan of women’s basketball and each March time stands still as my partner and I try and watch as many games as possible. Last year I got to see my first Final Four in person and waxed poetic about that in my blog.

So, this year I watched the championship game with an eye for success tips. I always have an eye out for the real life lessons that surround us every day. And in all honesty, I saw the opportunity to make good on Day 2 of 31 Days to a Better Blog at ProBlogger and decided it was a great way to write a list post as well.

So, here’s a list of critical success factors you need to keep in mind for your own life and business.

1. Avoid overwhelm by breaking it down.

More than one team in the tourney took the successful approach of breaking down the task at hand. On the court it translated to focusing on playing and winning only the next four minutes. No need to think about having to play for forty minutes…get focused on the next four (and then the next four) and the forty will take care of itself. Excellent advice for ANY large undertaking.

2. Lead by example.

The privilege of leadership is earned. You need to lead by example and then others will follow. This is another way of saying you need to BE the change you wish to see in the world. You need to BE the champion you desire to be. You need to show up how you wish to BE in the world and create your own success.

3. Find honesty you can trust.

One of the UConn players said one of the reasons Geno Auriemma is such a great coach is because he delivers honesty you can trust. He will tell you what you need to hear as your coach. If you wish to succeed you need to find that someone who can deliver honesty you can trust. For me I have several people that fit that bill: my coach, my spiritual teachers, several friends, and my partner. Find those people who can tell it like it is without judgment, without attachment, and without allowing their own perceptions and expectations get in the way. It’ll get you out of your story, keep you from playing small, and propel you to success.

4. Find a way to create what you desire

Winners find a way to make it happen. I’d agree with that with one caveat. To be truly successful you need to find a way to partner the energy of “make it happen” with “allowing it to happen”. No one can do it all and the best things are possible only by partnering with a greater power.

5. Give it all you got.

Give your dreams and your life all you have. Use yourself up. Leave it all on the floor as they say in basketball. This is about going for it. Living life without regrets and making sure you play full out. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

6. Enlist the support of your team.

Back to the notion that no one is successful without the support of others. Create your own success team personally and professionally. Enlist their support and inspiration. Learn how to ask for the help you need and give and receive in equal measures. The whole truly is greater than the sum of its parts.

7. Things happen in divine timing, not yours.

You may think something should manifest and come to you right now, but sometimes the timing isn’t right. UConn waited since 2004 to stand atop the podium again. Excellent players like Oklahoma’s Paris sisters never got that chance but it doesn’t diminish their accomplishments and talent. Tap into the law of acceptance and know that all you can do is your best and that the ultimate timing of the outcome is out of your hands.

8. Perfection is impossible.

Perfectionists beware — perfection is impossible. Each day do your best to get as close as you can, but know that excellence and perfection is in the journey not the destination. Nothing and no one is perfect. Give yourself permission to be human as you pursue mastery in your life.

What do you think? How have you applied these secrets in your life? Would love to hear your comments…

Photo Credit: stock.xchng