Do You Find it Hard to Commit?

committmentThe energy of commitment is so very key to succeeding your own terms.  Frankly it is a necessary element to almost anything you wish to create in this lifetime.  Why, then does commitment seem to be hard or elusive for some people?  Why do people say they are committed but then back away never following their words with action?

My friend and colleague Jennifer Longmore of Soul Journeys recently started an inquiry about commitment on her Facebook Fan Page. Specifically Jennifer asked:

Commitment seems to be the one energy that we struggle with, and yet the one energy that breeds success….so what are we really afraid of: success or commitment?

That got me to thinking that while the energy of fear – of success or commitment itself can be at work, I believe it is something more.  You see I think most people either make an excuse about commitment like “I’m not disciplined” or “I’m not good at commitment” because they are living from their past experiences.  Frankly this excuse is a total copout that can be transformed if you are willing.  Or, you avoid committing because you feel you need to “give up” something in order to do so.  This feeling of lack is what prevents you from committing. Of course paradoxically commitment yields far more if only you would take that one step.

Think about it – we associate commitment with giving things up:

  • Committing to a marriage/partnership equates to giving up the freedom of being single.
  • Commitment to getting healthy feels like giving up food you love or giving up physical comfort rather than gaining what you want (remember diet has the word “die” in it).
  • Commitment to a goal means you have to invest time taking action toward that goal (and therefore give up doing something else with it).

While this may be true…commitment often means a trade-off on where you choose to invest your time and energy, if you choose your commitments consciously this is a joyous trade-off that yields great benefits!  My friend and colleague Chris Silvey said it well:

If we focus on our commitments, success is just a natural byproduct….and there’s less significance attached : )

Again, choose your commitments wisely. Make sure they reflect what you really want instead of what someone told you that you should want.  If you do that, there is nothing to worry about.  If you choose from your heart and your passions you will experience so much joy and fulfillment in the journey (even over the rough patches) knowing you are “on purpose” that the idea of lack will fade to black.

What is your experience with commitment?  Does it come easy for you? Or, do you struggle with making or keeping your commitments?  Would love to hear from you in the comments…

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  1. I'm a female and Yes I do!!! I struggle with this every second of my life. Its really hard for me to COMMIT! to anything and I'm not just talking about relationships, Because I've been in one for a yr now and I've been faithful, but I won't commit to him as far as moving in together or taking the next step! Also I'm horrible with keeping appointments, party's, diets, I just don't commit to anything I actually hate it! all my friends & family are always on stand by with me because I always say I'm gonna do something and i don't do it! I really need advice 🙁

  2. So I have a huge problem with commitment in career-specific things aka school!! I have dropped out of school twice and am on the verge of doing so again. Idk why, but every time I commit to school, I feel like I can't make it. Like I can't do it. "it's too long"…"it's not good enough"…."I'm missing out on life"… I just scare myself and don't go through with it. How do I overcome this? It's so frustrating and not healthy! Ps. This heightens when im in a relationship, which I am now.

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